Another one for the collection

Some stories from the classroom are silly; some are hilarious; some are downright laugh your ass off, often at the expense of the kids (for those of you who’ve never heard my cleat story, see below, where I have copied the original email from three years ago). Yesterday, I had another great one to share:

When we have “late start” days, the staff comes at normal time and does random staff development stuff and the kids come two hours later for shortened classes. However, fourth period remains its normal length, which is already ten minutes longer than others, because of the split lunches. So, in my fourth period, when the lesson was over (scheduled for 30 minute class periods), we played Catchphrase. If you’ve never played this game, it’s basically get your team to say the word (or words) you get as fast as you can. I allow gestures, too. So, in a class of mostly rowdy teenage boys, the adorable, yet ditzy cute girl of the group gives the following clues:
“Okay, so girls wear it”
“A bra”
“No, without a bra”
“Swimsuit”
“No…um…it’s white”
“Tank top….Camisole…underwear”
“No, you lick it”
“What?!?! You lick it? And you wear it?”
“Yeah, girls wear it….like in movies”

At this point we’re all laughing, thinking she is of course crazy, or as often happens, reading the word incorrectly. Alas, time runs down and the other team gets the point. So, we ask her, “What was it?” And she says, plain-faced, as if we’re the stupidest people in the world for not guessing it, “Whipped cream.”

No fooling. After much laughter and disgust, we moved on, but that is something she will never live down in that class. Not to mention, there are about 800 other ways to approach that item than sexually. The fact that her brain went there first disturbs me on many levels. But it was damn funny.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Story from three years ago:

So, here I am on a Friday, correcting 2nd drafts of my seniors' compare/contrast papers, while my 8th-graders work silently. I come to the last paper. A softball player who is pleased the season has begun has decided to compare Nike cleats to Adidas cleats. Not the best of topics, but I really don't put much restriction on it. The following are excerpts from her paper VERBATIM. You will soon know why I burst out laughing and simply couldn't tell my 8th-graders why.

"There are many differences between Nike and Adidas. Anything from comfort, support, and durability is important. This is what every girl should know before buying clits. Comfort plays a huge role in clits. You need to make sure they feel fine, because of the work you will be doing in them."

"You need clits to last about two years, because you should be getting a lot of use out of them. All clits get holes worn in them. Mine are on the inner edge, near the front toe."

And finally...

"When it comes down to game time, you might want to think twice about the clits you choose."

Ahhhhh, spelling. It just makes life more fun.