first day of Forever

Why I Don't Shop on Black Friday

2010-11-26T10:55:00.003-06:00

Because I don't have to. Is that good enough? Okay, no, there's more, I think. And I'm compelled to explore it further.

Tell me you like my sweater, and it's likely I'll respond with something similar to, "Thanks, it was only $20!" or "Thanks, I got it at the consignment store!" I am a proud bargain-hunter and deal-finder. I hate paying retail. I take advantage of sales on darn-near every other day of the year. I am a coupon-user, an impulse-sale-buyer, and a craigslist-customer.

My new couch was 25% off. My rocker for the babe's room was 20% off. I absolutely love that I get 5% off all of my Target purchases now with my Target Card.

You get that I love deals, right? Then why would someone who is SO against paying retail, so eager to look at used goods, and so enthusiastic about a new set of coupons in the mail absolutely REFUSE to shop on this sacred shopping day?

Because I don't have to. Maybe there's not more. But even as someone who is not phobic about crowds or people, I just can't imagine the deal that would be worth the lack of sleep, the cold, the parking, and the fools (not that all people who shop this day ARE fools, but gather any large group of people and you will encounter many fools). I don't want to deal with the fools. I don't need anything that cheap that badly.

But someday I might. That's the thing. Right now, I am a blessed woman who revels in deals because it's fun. If my couch was not 25% off, I still would've bought it. It just makes me happier that it was on sale. But I have been a person who revels in deals because they're necessary. Right now, I do not want for food, for clothes, for medicine, for money to pay the bills. But I have been there. I hope I will never be there again, but nothing is impossible.

If I am there again, I might definitely consider waiting in line at midnight to buy my daughter a Christmas gift I would not otherwise be able to afford. THAT I get. THAT I appreciate. But right now, I just don't see the point. For me. For you, dear friend, it might be the highlight of your Thanksgiving weekend. And that's fine with me, whether you really need the bargain or you just enjoy the bargain. To each her own. Just don't be one of the fools.

My friend writes

2010-10-14T07:38:00.003-05:00

I, clearly, do not. Since I promised to blog more this summer, but then didn't, it is obvious my dream of being a published author someday will merely remain a dream. Not so for my dear friend Molly. I've known she was being published for reals (she's been published in journals and online, but those obscurities [sorry, babe] don't seem as real to a non-author) for about a month, but today she sent me this link, which, despite its big-business capitalism, makes Molly's book REAL to me. Real, real. See for yourself:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Recent-History-of-Middle-Sand-Lake/Molly-Sutton-Kiefer/e/9780978893170/?itm=1&USRI=recent+history+of+middle+sand+lake

In case you don't know Molly well enough, her professional website is here. Her blog is here. She writes beautiful poetry, takes marvelous pictures, and is due with her first baby girl two days before I'm due with my baby girl.

So proud of you, Molly!

Idle hands no more

2010-06-24T21:21:00.003-05:00

Feeling sluggish this week, I decided to get my knitting out and try to remember how to do it. With a little help from my friends, I am now on a knitting rampage. I figure I can make the kid all sorts of stuff before it comes out! Tuesday, I practiced. Yesterday, I made a pair of booties. My first time ever following a knitting pattern. Here is the first one I completed, and in excitement, took a picture of:

The second one is smaller. So, they don't match. As Patrick said, "I hope these never fit the kid," because, obviously, if they did, he/she would have very mismatched feet.

Tonight, I went to Michael's to find a pattern or two to start work on. Well, I was very disappointed, because there were literally five times more pattern books for crocheting than for knitting. There was ONE baby afghan book for knitting. There were five for crocheting. There were ZERO layette books for knitting. There were three for crocheting. And like, six or seven assorted baby projects for crochet. But, that's just one store. So, I'm putting off those projects, even though I intend to make both of them before baby comes. I just think it'll be pretty cool to bring the baby home from the hospital in something I made.

Anyway, I didn't leave Michael's empty-handed. But I'm working on the first project now, and I will post a picture of it when I'm done. I'm pretty excited about it :-).

Adventures in Cooking

2010-06-22T20:46:00.002-05:00

(Read about this yummy summer salad I made using my CSA ingredients at this blog.)

I have always enjoyed cooking and trying new recipes, and I am blessed with a husband who will try anything once (and twice sometimes, but he doesn't know it). This year, two new things regarding cooking are a part of my daily life.

1) We joined a CSA (that's community supported agriculture, for you novices). This means we get a box of produce from a local farm every week for 20 weeks for about $200. The excitement is you never know what'll come in your box. It forces you to experiment with new recipes and generally eat healthier. We've gotten two boxes so far, and have enjoyed kohlrabi, broccoli, lettuce, spinach, swiss chard, turnips, herbs, cabbage, and a few others I've forgotten at this time. Read all about it (if you care) on this blog, which I share with my other dear friends who are also enjoying shares from the same farm.

2) I now have a kitchen garden, as they say. I am a rookie gardener who is amazed at the growth in my plants in the first month. From 3 inches, to almost 3 feet for those tomatoes. In a MONTH! Crazy. I haven't had the opportunity to use anything from my garden but the lettuce so far, but there's all sorts of stuff that'll be gracing my plate come July and August. You can follow my gardening progress on this blog, which is just me :-).

Please enjoy my adventures in cooking and [other] blogging.

Brief, but important

2010-06-20T22:30:00.002-05:00

I will make this as quick and painless as possible, but I am compelled to document this feeling.

My maternal grandpa died only a couple of months after I was born. My paternal grandpa died when I was 12. My daddy died when I was 15. Although it was lovely to get a father-in-law (a fabulous one!) a few years ago, mostly, Father's Day has just been a painful reminder of what I lost too early for many, many years. It has never passed without me feeling incredibly sad. (In case anyone who has lost a parent or anyone close to you wonders, the sadness of their loss never wanes; you only learn how to deal with it better in time.)

Every day I think about my dad. So many things remind me of him. Experiences, emotions, objects, random-ass weird things (this makes sense if you knew my dad), and just about anything else. Lately, of course, I remember how much he wanted to be a grandpa. Believe me or not, (and even I'm not always certain he was kidding) when he knew he was dying, I was 14. I had a "steady" boyfriend. He joked (I hope) all the time that I should quick have a baby so he could have a grandchild. I could still go to school and all that, for he pledged to take care of it. And because I remember the care he took braiding my hair while I sat on the edge of the couch before my P.M. kindergarten, I know he would've been a super grandpa. He was full of love above all things. The sadness creeps in.

Today, however, is a renewed feeling for this holiday, for there is now a new father in my life. The father of MY baby. And although his child is only 11 weeks along in my tummy, he has already proven in countless ways that he will be a superb father. His own role model for this position is, as earlier mentioned, an absolutely wonderful man, and my husband will only continue what appears to be a family tradition of excellence. This man who already takes such good care of me will soon be taking the best care of our child. A woman could not possibly be happier.

So, now I can say with confidence once again, "Happy Father's Day."

New things

2010-06-15T15:40:00.002-05:00

So, it's been 6 months, and many will never read this because they gave up on me entirely, but I will start to post on here again. Mostly because it's summer and I not only have more free time, but more interesting things about which to write.

I've never been good at any sort of diary or journal regularity. I write when inspiration hits. I've been meaning to start keeping track of the important dates in my pregnancy, and what better place than here. So here are some tidbits:
February- I stop taking the pill and calculate that if I AM ovulating, I will be doing so on our Mexican vacation. The official trying to have a baby begins.
March 9- Period comes. Not surprised...who gets pregnant after one month of trying after being on the pill for 11 years?
April 5- Just home from visiting Jen in Texas, and yup, my period comes. Again, only two months. No big deal.
April 26- I think I'm pregnant. I'm so sure, for some reason, that I lose all sense of patience and stop at Walgreens on my way home from work to buy a pregnancy test. I take one immediately when I get home. I had read online that even if your expected period is 10 days away, there's like a 40% chance there'll be enough hcg (the pregnancy hormone) in your system to detect it. This is deviant behavior, my taking this test, because I had promised Patrick we'd find out together. Believe it or not, at age 28, this is my very first pregnancy test (I'm very careful). Well, the fates must've agreed this behavior was deviant, because the test is negative. I admit my moment of weakness over dinner, and assure Pat that it doesn't mean we're not pregnant. In fact, despite the test, I still think I am. I don't know exactly why. But I contemplate taking the other test every day that week. Wise husband convinces me to be patient. I convince myself to wait until the next Monday, when my period is supposed to come.
May 1- Saturday. I really, really want to take the test. Patrick says go ahead. But, we're going to have dinner with his family, and I decide that if it's negative, I'll be down, and won't have as much fun. So, I decide not to take it. But still believing I'm pregnant, I don't drink. My sister-in-law notices this immediately and begins the "You're pregnant, aren't you?" conversation with the whole room. Despite our trying to change the subject, they keep teasing. In my head I'm thinking, "YES! I hope so, so shut up and stop jinxing it!" To little avail.
May 2- Sunday morning. No plans. Just got up and sitting in the living room. I stand up, "I'm gonna take the test. Okay?" He says, "That's up to you." So, I take it. I wait. I go back into the bathroom. And there it is. VERY faint, but that second line is there. Because of my previously stated research, I know that a false positive is next to impossible, and that any line, no matter how faint, means you're pregnant. So, I slowly walk back into the living room, my hands covering my mouth, and tell Pat. "It's positive! We're pregnant!" He gets up from his chair and we hug and hug. I drag him in there to look at it. We are thrilled. We go out to breakfast at The Egg and I to celebrate.
May 3- All day at work I am crampy and worried I'm getting my period. I go to the bathroom like 4 times. This time anxiety, not impatience, gets me to stop and buy more pregnancy tests. This time, I get the digital one. I again take it immediately. Within a minute, it says, "Pregnant." Hurrah. Then I start reading stuff to find out if my cramps are normal. Of course they are. With the initial fear of being wrong behind me, I decide I can't possibly keep this to myself, so I call my sister. She was about 10 times more excited than Pat and I put together. It was the most fun I had telling anyone. I wish it could've been in person.
May 9- Mother's Day. I get breakfast in bed and flowers from my husband, and two cards in the mail, one from Jen B. and one from Les. Many more cards and gifts come from friends in the next few weeks. I am thrilled with each one. We had waited to tell my mom, so we could tell her on Mother's Day. I got her the usual hanging plant, but with a "grandma" mother's day card. We're taking her out to brunch, so we were just picking her up, but I insist on coming in quick to pee, and then make her open her card before we go. Pat and I stand in anticipation and she puts her reading glasses on, opens the envelope, and just stares at it. I'm thinking, "Can't she read?" She slowly turns to me and says, "You're not messing with me, are you?" Classic. "No," I whine. So, she screams and starts jumping up and down. Yay.
May 10- Now that Mom knows, the news goes virtual, as I post it on facebook. It is super fun in the following days and weeks to be congratulated and asked about it.
May 20- First appointment, but it is only with nurses. They give me all the info I need to get started. Most importantly, I am told to stop taking my Prilosec for my acid reflux. I now have heartburn almost 24/7.
June 2- First appointment with doctor. She examines me and says everything is great. She tells us not to be disappointed or worried if she can't find a heartbeat, because at only 8 weeks, it's unlikely. But she finds it almost immediately. And it's strong. And amazing. I can still hear it in my head. Of course, I can also hear it for "real" if I want, because Patrick does an uncanny impersonation of it. Sounds weird, but he can replicate the sound almost perfectly. The doctor finds this odd, though, and suspects I may be further along than 8 weeks. So, to my delight, she orders me an early ultrasound. We are unable to schedule it to the following week, however.
June 11- Ultrasound! At 9 1/2 weeks, I didn't even need to do the vaginal ultrasound (use your imagination), so it was very easy and quick. She said all was well, I was right where I was supposed to be, and everything was peachy. Due date: January 10. It was amazing to see the baby on screen. He/she moved his/her little arms and legs all around. I didn't expect it to be moving like that. It was so cool. Proof that there is a life inside of me. This time, we had dinner to celebrate, and we went to Brasa.

Now, I am at ten weeks, and one day. So far, so good. Time to pack for my trip to Arkansas.

Snow Day!

2009-12-09T12:15:00.002-06:00

Home sweet home. In my pajamas watching TV and drinking coffee. I would be teaching fourth period right now, but no. This is the second time we've had a snow day in five years. I had almost forgotten how wonderful it is. Except for that I should go shovel. I don't want to. Pat usually shovels. He's not here. He's out of town. Boo. I miss him and all, but I might miss his shoveling abilities more :-).

No witty insights today. Brain off. Except I will use it to grade papers later. Yes, I brought them home just in case. Hard to let go completely.

Vacation, not so much...

2009-11-05T14:31:00.002-06:00

For weeks I had been asking Pat what he wanted for his birthday. His usual response is "nothing". I don't approve of this. I am a celebrator, and I expect others to be as well. So, because his birthday is the week before MEA break, I thought we could go up north for a long weekend. I found the website vrbo.com through craigslist. It's vacation rentals by owner. It's pretty neato. I searched all the dog-friendly cabins available, trying to find one that was a) reasonably priced, b) not too big (some available can sleep over 20!), c) on a lake, and d) near some activities. After much searching, we found one near Lake Itasca, with a pontoon and a hot tub. The nice old widower who owns it was going to give us a great deal, since it was October and all. We were very excited.

We were planning on leaving Thursday morning around 9. Wednesday night at about 6, the guy called. He double-booked the cabin. The other folks got there on Wednesday, so he couldn't ask them to leave. He offered us his house for free (he felt reallllly bad), but it didn't have any of the things we wanted: no hot tub, no boat, not on the lake. We figured it would be like being here, but four hours away. So, we decided to stay home.

So, even though I abhor the term, we had ourselves a stayacation.

Because our goal was to go hiking and such up north, we decided to do it from here. We went to a different park from out "60 Hikes Within 60 Miles" book each day. It rained most of the time, but that just meant we had the trails mostly to ourselves. One day we were out at Wild River State Park, walking over 8 miles, and it started to hail! We also went to the Wildlife Reserve and Bass Lake near highway 77, the Coon Rapids dam, and the Miesville Ravine Park Reserve. All were very fun. We probably walked over 20 miles that weekend.

We also went to a movie and got a few things done around the house. I would go so far as to say our staycation was better than our vacation was supposed to be. And we were never upset about it. Things are either meant to be or they're not. Sometimes it's that simple.

Playing Catch-up

2009-11-05T14:24:00.002-06:00

I often think, "I will blog about this." But, as you know, I rarely do. I don't know why exactly, but I feel like I lose the motivation. I have issues with motivation. I have all sorts of good ideas, all the time. But I very rarely follow through. I'm going to try to re-live some of the things I wish I would've blogged about weeks ago. Mostly because I'm home sick and have the time.

Bounty

2009-09-27T11:16:00.002-05:00

I am feeling well again, as easily as I felt sick. This body of mine is a mystery.

Last night I made my weekly menu. For the first time in months, literally, I will be making nine meals at home (I plan Monday-Sunday, including lunch on Saturday and Sunday). Oh, how a social calendar can dwindle when the days get shorter. My menu looks like this (all recipes, as usual, come from The American Heart Association cookbooks, of which I have two):
Monday- French-style braised sole with quinoa and green beans
Tuesday- Chicken and Potato Casserole with mushroom sauce, spinach salad
Wednesday- Grilled steak and zucchini with mashed potatoes
Thursday- Baked Crab Maryland, spinach salad
Friday- Chicken fajitas with spanish rice and beans
Saturday- (lunch) turkey and swiss paninis with apple and broccoli salad (dinner) spinach-stuffed veggie pizza
Sunday- (lunch) leftover pizza (I've made this before and it is thick like pie: impossible to eat in one meal) (dinner) spaghetti with homemade meat sauce, garlic bread and spinach salad

To best serve my menu, my body, and my community, I got up at 7:00 this morning to hit the St. Paul farmer's market. I like the SP one the most, because it is easy to park, easy to maneuver, and easy to leave. And it's right next to Black Dog cafe, where I like to get a treat and coffee. Armed with two shopping bags (I couldn't possibly need more...), I began to shop. My bounty included:
9 Red potatoes
green beans
8 fat carrots
7 small and 4 large onions, both white and red
6 green peppers
8 Haralson apples
2 huge bunches of spinach (one kept fresh, one blanched and frozen)
1 bunch of parsley (some fresh for this week, the rest frozen into ice cube trays)
1 very large zucchini
4 heads of broccoli (I do not need this much, but it looked so lovely and keeps well)
1 dozen brown eggs

I barely made it to the car, especially since I had coffee in one hand! I have said it on facebook before, but I will say it again here: don't buy more than you can carry! Alas, I never remember. Perhaps I should stop going to the market alone?

In addition to the fresh, local goodness of it all, I love this as well: all of the above for $28. Can't beat that with a stick. I will supplement the rest of my menu plans with a trip to the supermarket this afternoon. Whole Foods for bulk (I am out of flour and sugar, both needed this week); and good ol' SuperTarget for the rest.

I hope you enjoy your eating week as much as I will mine :-).

Okay, okay...How to Survive 2.0

2009-09-25T17:40:00.002-05:00

(I have once again neglected my blog. Thanks to Les and Jen for reminding me. It's funny how I want to write a book someday, but I can't even stay current with my one literary output.)

How to Survive a Building Project with Your Husband (who reads this blog...)

For the last three months, my darling husband and I have been working on making our backyard the sanctuary we always hoped it could be. Together we have built a deck, two large planters (okay, I only designed and picked out the materials for these), and are 70% done with our patio. The plan is to finish the patio completely tomorrow, if the rain decides to stop (and my body decides to heal; yes, regular readers, I am sick again).

Doing anything with my spouse is fun. That's generally why we got hitched in the first place. But when we create things together, it is enormously rewarding. The working side-by-side, sharing the joys and the frustrations, feels like love to me. But we are both very smart and capable people, so working together can be tricky (this is assuming it's easy for dumb and clueless people to take orders from others?). For example, he doesn't so much like cooking, but he will cook with me when I ask. When we cook together, I'm the Head Chef, and he's the Sous Chef. It's definitely a joint effort, but someone has to be in charge. He knows a lot, but I know more. It's my arena. With building projects, the roles are reversed. He's the Foreman, and I'm the Grunt (sometimes literally, as I often just schlep the tools and materials around; I'm very good at handing things to him). So, here it is, version 2.0 of how to survive life, rules to surviving a building project with your husband:

1. He is not always right. Ha! Betcha thought it would be he IS always right! Couldn't be farther from the truth. It is very important to speak up if you think something is wrong or could be done differently. It is equally important to be as tactful as possible in these situations. He is not WRONG. You are making an observation or a suggestion. Mostly, this is because later, if you have kept your mouth shut and you say something, he will inevitably say, "Why didn't you say that before?" Now, my husband is awesome, so he does not feel threatened. Often, he asks for my opinion/help/etc. If your husband is a jerk about it, you should probably let him work alone.
2. Let him carry the heavy stuff. I was in pain for days after moving 150 42-pound patio stones from point A to point B. Do the math; that's 6,300 lbs. of concrete! I moved it in 1 1/2 hours. Men (at least mine) are built for that stuff.
2A. Recognize that he gets sore, too. Take breaks. Rub each other's muscles. Take hot bubble baths together. It's a nice reward at the end of a hard work day.
3. It's okay to play the girl card. You are working together because it's fun and it'd be silly for one person to go it alone. That's why you get yourself a life partner: no alone-going. But unless you're super-girl, there's some stuff you just can't do. I, for example, cannot handle a jackhammer, a tiller, a compactor, or a sledge hammer. And I'm strong. You read the about the 6,300 lbs., right?
4. Make breakfast; make snacks; mix the Gatorade; make lunch; but go out to supper. I know my husband thoroughly appreciates my willingness to prepare the foodstuffs during the working times, but I see it as a break. But, because I'm being helpful and productive, it is not viewed as a break. Win/win. After worktime, however, I'm beat. Someone run to Subway. Possibly on the way home from yet another Menard's trip. Which leads to...
5. Be prepared to run to the store at any time. We're lucky. We live within 5 miles of Menard's, 10 miles of Home Depot, and 2 miles of two local hardware stores. Running to the store is easy for us. We have run out of things, changed our mind about things, or simply forgotten things. Better to just go get the right widget than to stress over it. You'll be back before you know it.
5A. You can play the girl card at the hardware store, too. Especially if you look cute in your work clothes. I, of course, always look cute, so this is easy. Men will carry things for you, help you pick things out, or just ask you 800 times if they can help you.
5B. Above rule does not apply if said husband is with you. Sorry.
6. As mentioned in #1, make suggestions, but let him make all the big decisions. He's the Foreman. Trust his decisions. He will be the first to say if they don't work out. Then you can work together to change or fix (or ignore).
7. Compliment his good decisions. This sounds like placation, and maybe it is, but it's important. I am SUPER sad when I don't get complimented on my cooking. Everyone likes a good "atta boy!"
8. Be appreciative. You are working hard, but because of that whole big-strong-man-doing-all-the-hard-work situation, he is undoubtedly working harder than you. Because let's be honest, if it were up to you, you would've hired someone to do while you two sip lemonade.
9. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Have fun. If you get in a snip, get out of it just as fast. Working together is awesome fun and rewarding. Don't ruin it with a quarrel. Laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh. But don't take it too far. He won't like it when you jokingly spray him with the hose. Trust me.

How to Survive 1.0

2009-08-24T15:32:00.002-05:00

To remind myself and to help others, I am going to start blogging about personal survival strategies in difficult situations. (This is also a prompt I can use over and over to entice me to keep blogging.)

Today's Topic: A busy Sunday afternoon's visit to SuperTarget

I have often said, "If you can't buy it at SuperTarget, you don't need it." My husband would argue Menard's should be added, but I rarely shop there myself. That's his territory. This is not to say that I ONLY shop at Target, I love me some good local businesses, but if you think about it, REALLY think about it, all the things you REALLY need, can be found at good ol' ST. My ST of choice is the one off Cedar in Richfield, because it is the closest to my house and is on the way home from work. Easy peasy. I like to shop once a week, usually on a Sunday, for my weekly needs, including groceries. I will admit I have been known to make several other stops during the week for random necessities and/or treats, usually on the way home from the aforementioned work. However, going to ST on a Sunday afternoon is not always simple. I have established ten easy-to-follow rules for surviving this daunting task. In no particular order:
1. Make a list. Make a list. Make a list. Make a list. I plan my dinner menu for the week on Sunday, writing down the ingredients I need to go with each as I plan. This cuts down on last-minute trips to the store and helps me stay organized all week. Make your ingredient list first, then go through your fridge and pantry crossing off things you already have (skip this step if you have a good memory; I remember I have flour, but do I still have kalamata olives in that jar? Best to check, lest you end up with 4 jars of peanut butter in your pantry like me.) After you've got your ingredients down, consider your other needs: ask your husband if he needs anything (this week: wasp killer and velcro straps), check the bathroom (TP, deodorant, toothpaste, etc.), check your fridge and pantry again for staples. Put everything on the list. Never assume you'll remember.
1.A. While at the store, do not deviate from the list!!! This is very important for your time, your pocketbook, and your waistline. Cross things off as you shop. I like to mark each thing on my list before I get to the store with a D, F, C, M, P, or O (dairy, frozen, cupboard, meat, produce, other) and then make sure I have everything from that section before leaving it. Nothing like forgetting milk from back-of-the-store dairy when you're already in front-of-the-store produce.
1.B. There are exceptions to the no deviating from the list rule. They are
-cool clearance items, applicable in any department (no, I did not neeeeed that bamboo cookie jar, but at that price, I'll find a need! For the record, it is the new catch-all on my microwave.)
-items that store well and are on [good] sale (this week: steak and chicken; used so often, they can chill in the freezer until recipes require their deliciousness)
-fresh fruits and veggies, especially when they're on sale unexpectedly (did I plan to buy watermelon? no, but it was only $1.99!); you can always use more of these, just make sure you remember to eat them. DON'T let them go bad, what a waste!
-things you obviously need, but simply forgot to put on your list (this week: eggs and bread; duh)

2. You are not in a hurry. Even if you really ARE in a hurry, your attitude must reflect that you are NOT. ST has a propensity to rearrange quite frequently. This can be annoying only if you allow yourself to be annoyed. So, you have to walk all the way across the store and back for an item that you believed was just by the pharmacy. It's okay. It's not that far, and it's good for your thighs.
2.A. To aid your not-in-a-hurry attitude, park far away, and near a cart corral if possible. You'll thank me later.

3. Starbucks helps. Whoever said, "Hey, you know what we should do? Put Starbucks INSIDE SuperTarget!" is my personal hero. I like to start my visit with beverage large enough to last my entire shopping trip (this week: venti cold press with skim milk and sweetener). This leisurely practice of ordering, customizing, and then enjoying while you wander the aisles also helps wonderfully with rule #2. Sip, walk, sip, walk, sigh. Ahhhhhh, SuperTarget.

4. Every person's needs are more important than your own. This piggybacks on #2 also. Cart-crossing? Let the other person go first. Someone cut in the deli line? No scene necessary; spend the extra time admiring the beautiful cakes in the bakery. You are the most polite person in the store. It always takes less energy to be calm than to be angry. Have a few more sips of your Starbucks beverage and relax.

5. Every child is adorable. The crazy kid playing leap frog in the very busy aisle? TOO cute! The crying babies? Poor things, they just want to go home. Double-wide stroller blocking the whole aisle while dad talks on his cell? Offer the twins some frappuchino. Kids are EVERYWHERE in ST. You must embrace their presence, for I'm sure they would rather be out playing kickball anyway. Feel sorry for them. Love them. SMILE AT THEM! It's fun to see which ones smile back.

6. After you've gotten everything from your "O" list (other: shampoo, underwear, velcro straps, what have you), head to grocery. Start at the back in dairy and frozen. This will keep you on track. There are now perishable and frozen goods in your cart. You may not saunter back to see if flip-flops are on clearance yet. You should have thought of that before. Time's a tickin'. Be mindful; you are still NOT in a hurry, but now you have a mission.

7. Always, always end in produce. No one likes a squished nectarine or kiwi (on my list this week for the salsa to go with grilled tuna steaks....jealous?)

8. If all check-out lines are long, pick the one with the magazines. Then you have something to read while you wait. Bonus leisure time! You'll be bummed when it's finally your turn.

9. The check-out person is your new best friend. Don't be afraid to ask for things. (eg: May I have your scanning gun so I don't have to lift the dog food off the cart?) Don't be afraid to talk to them. It's boring to just stand there and watch them scan and bag, scan and bag. Ask them about their work. Make general niceties. They're much more likely to do you favors if you're nice to them (this, of course, is true in all situations at all times). Favors? From check-out girl/guy? Oh, yes. Possibilities include: believing you instead of running a price check; double-bagging (though you should really bring your own bags; I have 4 and shop with them only every other week, because in Mpls, we have to sort our recycling in paper bags...grrrrrrr.), taking your garbage (empty Starbucks cup, people), and many other surprising needs. If I see a manager walking by or pass one on my way out, I am happy to tell them how great an employee so-and-so is. I don't wait around for one (frozen food and all), but if you pass one and he/she is not busy, it will make his/her day and the employee's day to hear it.

10. As you walk out, be proud of yourself. You just enjoyed a stress-free trip to SuperTarget. And because you are parked so far back, you are now near the exit and nowhere near the crazy, hurried people who are waiting for parking spots in the front, thus blocking traffic. You can glide out of your spot easily and hit the road.

Remember, it's much less stressful to spend an hour and a half following my simple rules at a relaxed pace than to spend 30 minutes freaking out about every little thing. Be organized, stay focused, and remember to smile.

Disappointed and then all better

2009-07-27T15:22:00.004-05:00

On this, the day after my birthday, I went to a matinee of Disney's Earth. I went thinking it would show me the many wonders of this planet, including cute animals, beautiful scenery, and things I'd never seen or maybe even heard of before. I was right. But it was also very sad and depressing. I counted no fewer than 15 deaths in this movie, and 5 of them were rather violent. That's about as many as in The Departed! Two parents took their small children out of the theater. I was not uplifted (though the shots were impressive), I was pissed. I wanted a good movie to bring my spirits at least to regular height today, and my spirit was crushed back down instead. Stupid Disney. The best part was during the credits when they were showing how they managed to get some of those aforementioned amazing shots. Pretty cool.

BUT, when I got home, there were FLOWERS waiting on my porch! My favorite 3 1/2 month old friend sent me birthday chrysanthemums (he's very smart). Purple ones! My favorite! He may or may not have had help from his mother in dialing the florist. Hard to say. Either way, it made me so happy I cried. I love my friends :-).

Happy Day After My Birthday.

Neglect

2009-07-08T12:10:00.002-05:00

2009 has really been a weak blogging year. Only 15 posts in more than half the year. Have I become less motivated or less interesting? Hard to say.

As always, the summer is sweeping past incredibly quickly. Today marks two months until back to school. This is the longest summer break I've ever had (thank you Labor Day), but still. I love all the things I've been able to do in the past month, but it's somewhat disconcerting when I find myself wasting a day doing nearly nothing. Like today. I took my niece to the airport early this morning, and fully intended to just stay up. And I did. For about an hour. Then I fell back asleep and stayed asleep until 11:30. Now I'm blogging and watching tv in my underwear. And I LOVE it!!! The part of me that knows I have things I could/should be doing, including working out, doing dishes, sewing my bench seats, really thinks I'm being lazy and ridiculous. But the part of me that wants to enjoy my free time however I darn well want is pleased as punch :-).

Rollercoaster (oooh, oooh, oooh)

2009-06-04T14:50:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was a terrible day. We're talking cry silently and complain loudly. We're talking actually feeling betrayed. Losing respect for people bad. BAD DAY. I wanted to leave. To walk out of this place and never come back. I took myself on a date last night to make me feel better. Dinner and a movie. If you haven't seen "UP", go see it now. Go ahead. I'll wait.

(elevator music)

Awesome good, right? Anyway, yesterday=terrible. Today, however, is why this job is manic depressive. Crying out of anger, sadness, and frustration one day, crying out of happiness and awe the next. I will not share the terrible story, as this blog is my "blooming memory" and I frankly would like to forget yesterday. But, because I know I will need to remember this good day during future bad days, I will share. Some may even call it bragging. But I want to chronicle it oh so badly.

I have many students I adore. Many who I abhor. Oh, look, the rhyming just comes naturally sometimes :-). But sometimes students who are so special you just don't know what to do with yourself come along:

1. Student A immediately grabbed my attention at the beginning of the semester with his obscenities and readiness to share his story. He transferred to my school from New Jersey. His parents sent him to live here in this town with his grandparents. He had been involved in drugs and was starting a new life. (Please ignore the complete craziness of the next sentence.) I actually felt like I was supposed to meet this kid. Like, called by God, kind of supposed to. He was at the same church as me on Ash Wednesday. 35 miles away from his grandparents, a church I've never attended before. He was there. He stood out even more to me then, as I was completely enamored with our chance meeting (which neither of us ever mentioned in school or again, for that matter). I realized how smart he was, but how he holds back. Anyway, I could go on and on with stories about him from the semester, but I won't. Here is the note he gave me today on his last day of class:

This was by far my favorite class and probably the reason I stopped hating people (I came to MN directly from a correctional facility). The students in this class were the first people I talked to and befriended. A good amount of this is because of your activities, which really helped “break the ice.” Mrs. H., you were one of my favorite teachers and I’m really happy to have met you and taken this. It accounts for a good portion of my new life. Have a good summer and good luck with everything.

Doesn't that just melt your heart? I pray for his success here in MN, as I hope he realizes his awesome potential.

2. Student B is someone I've probably written about before. I have two amazing speech captains this year. They've been with me for all four years of my coaching here, and they are fabulous, both of them. I knew they felt the same way about me, but the thank-you card one of them gave me today was really beyond my thinking. (She's super smart and a writer, by the way, so this really is what she wrote word-for-word, as unbelievable as it may seem.)

I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. As my coach, mentor, and friend, you were always there to support me and hear me out. All of the confidence and independence I can show the world today I owe to you. I hope that you know how thankful I am for your dedication and passion. My love of speaking manifested from your love of your students and your fiery, joyful character. Every quirky and epic moment these past four years is dear to me and because of your energy and compassion. I will never forget what you’ve done for me, no matter how far away I go. You’ve made me who I am, and for that I am eternally grateful. THANK YOU! Love, [student]

It just doesn't get better than that. Next time I say anything negative about my job, remind me of these (and the others) whose lives I actually did influence.

I just cried at my desk

2009-06-02T11:36:00.002-05:00

Not because of students (good or bad, they actually make me cry at least once a week), but because of an article in our school newspaper that led me to this website.

It is so nice to know people care and help. I want to be one of them. I am going to set up a day this summer to make sammies. If you want to help, let me know.

An open letter

2009-05-28T11:38:00.004-05:00

Dear Parents of my Students Absent for their Finals,

I understand that your student receiving a passing grade is important to you. I understand that you will do anything for your child. I also understand that it is of little consequence to you personally if your child does not attend school.

What I do NOT understand, dear parents, is how you can send your child into the world with such a strong message of irresponsibility and unaccountability. These assignments, for which they have had upwards of two weeks to prepare, are their FINAL for the class. Perhaps your child is an exceptional liar. Good for him/her. With the mixed messages you are sending him/her, it will be important for him/her to use that lying skill in his/her future. Maybe there is an epidemic in this community of which I am unaware. Funny, none of my students NOT assigned to go today came down with the illness. Germs work in mysterious ways.

Please, do not worry about the other students and me. We will change our schedules and agendas to suit your child's whims. We here in public education are here to serve you in every way. Maybe you'd like your child to receive a passing grade just for breathing. I'm sure we can find an independent study program to suit his/her needs.

All my best as we near the graduation of your little darlings,
Mrs. Frustrated and Annoyed

EDIT: For those of you who feel I may be too cynical: I was just on the third floor (two away from my own domain), and SAW ONE OF THE STUDENTS who was, "up all night puking, sweating, with a high fever." AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Note to self

2009-05-19T16:17:00.001-05:00

Self, you can NOT run around Lake Nokomis when it is 90 degrees.

P.S. You should listen to your husband who said, "Be careful. Don't push yourself."

Watch my smoke

2009-05-17T18:55:00.002-05:00

runner (n.): one that runs; pronunciation: \ˈrə-nər\

Today, on this gorgeous day, I continued my awesomeness at Lake Nokomis. It is approximately 2.7 miles. It took me nine Offspring songs (always a kick-ass motivator), which when I added them up on iTunes at home, totaled 32 minutes. Again, I did this without walking or stopping. WHO AM I!?!?!?

Heather, my cheerleader, is going to take me to her special runners' store so we can buy me some better shoes, then we're going to start hitting 5Ks this summer. Why have I not been doing this for the last 10 years?

(Now I'm going to plop my butt on the couch for some reality TV; Survivor finale tonight! Life is all about balance...)

Out of pain, good does come

2009-05-14T20:43:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it wasn't really PAIN, but it was a very annoying and stressful situation. The day started cold and windy (which I was forced to experience this morning; more on that another time), but by the time I got home at 4:30, the sun was shining and the temperature had risen to almost 70. I wanted to go for a walk/jog, and really didn't want to bring the dogs. They've been royal pains in the ass on walks lately, and I just wanted peace. But, I figured I would be the worst dog-owner in the entire world if I went out on this beautiful day without them. I called Pat to see if I should wait for him to join us before venturing out, but he was stuck at work. I told him we would walk toward him. Poochy One and Poochy Two started out fairly decently. Then I forgot that Jersey's driving motion toward insanity is bicyclists. We kept walking toward Pat by going over the Marshall Bridge. Bikes galore! Psychotic barking and lunging was scaring every person going by. He is going insane. Truly. (An entirely different issue, of course. I'm open to dog-training suggestions for my dog of 3 years...) My embarrassment, rage, frustration built. I had to call Pat. I got off the bridge, off the beaten path, and found some grass on which to plop my annoyed ass. A school yard. A few minutes passed before my knight in shining Jeep showed up. I asked him just to take the dogs. I needed to walk home on my own. I needed to get rid of the steam.

As I turned away, I started to run. Feel the burn. Release the steam. Then I decided not to stop. Now, this is normal for a LOT of people. I get that. But I have been walk/running since I decided running was even something I could do. Run a couple of blocks. Walk a few to recover. Running more than two was awesome. Once I ran 8! I was very proud. But today, coming from my angry resolve, I ran all the way home. I told myself I wouldn't stop, and I didn't. I pushed. Mind over body is what people usually say. Body over mind is what I employed. Breathe. Put one foot in front of the other. And I ran all the way home.

Perhaps, dear reader, you still do not understand the gravity of my feat. Back in elementary school and high school when they made us run the mile, I was one of the last girls on the track. When I was thin and young, I couldn't run a mile. I was one of those people who said, "I can't run." Not "I don't run," but I CAN'T. Well, guess what? Yes I can! When I got home, I went on to the very handy website, www.mapmyrun.com, and found out exactly how far I ran. Guess how far? Come on, guess! Okay, I'll tell you: 1.8 miles!!! That's almost 2! Without stopping! Not even for traffic (the universe was on my side)!

So, in case you can't tell, I'm Superwoman! (Methinks this is what they call "runner's high.")

Pride

2009-05-10T19:39:00.002-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, my best friend.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/station/as_seen_on/Sister_s_Love_For_Troubled_Brother_Helps_Others_Dallas-Fort_Worth.html

She's pretty much totally awesome :-). Love you, Jen!!!

Shift

2009-05-05T09:26:00.004-05:00

Or rather, don't. I no longer do. I (okay, we) bought a new car on Saturday. A 2008 VW Passat Wagon, 2.0 Turbo Sport. The fun family car. It has an automatic transmission, something I haven't had in a car since I was 18. I have driven a manual for 10 years. (The VW, it should be noted, does have Tiptronic, an optional manual control offered in the Sport edition; I used it once so far, and it weirded me out a little, as it has no clutch.) I have sporadically driven automatics over the years (most recently, of course, is the ol' Jeep, Pat's die-hard vehicle of choice), but not for more than a trip or so. The clutching and shifting was all-consuming. I had shifting, radio controlling, eating, cell-phone handling down to an artistic fluid movement akin to modern robotics (spare me your lectures; I know I should be doing none of those things while driving...). After a day in traffic, my left thigh seized up in pain from all the depressions. My manuals, the Hyundai Excel (you know you loved it) and my Chevy Tracker (on to greener pastures...most likely Mankato if the mechanic okays its safety; she's had some trouble as of late, hence the new car; don't tell Mom her Mother's Day present might be a "new" car :-)), really, truly, taught me how to drive. Really drive. And enjoy it.

Driving to work this morning (yes, I'm blogging from work again...it's my student teacher's last week in the classroom, so it shan't continue :-)), my third full day in my (our) new ride, I realized how absolutely different the experience is. Now I know how some people can fall asleep at the wheel: the car does all the work. This car in particular has far more features than I even know what to do with. I forget that I can now control my radio (which has optional satellite radio, if we're so inclined to subscribing) from my steering wheel, reaching over to use the knob, a shocking 15 inches away. I never change the display screen from "Consumption" to any of the many other options (because I like to see it change, and then stop when I'm cruising on a flat straightaway at 32 or 33 :-)). I turned on the heated (black leather) seats this morning, just because I can (yes, I know it was 55 degrees). I haven't started to fill up all the crazy hidden storage compartments with cool stuff (there is an umbrella holder in the driver-side door, so you don't have to bring your wet brolly into the car with you). Not to mention the sunroof.... Driving this car is enjoyable in an entirely different way.

But it is TOO nice. Too good for this girl. The previous paragraph certainly implies bragging. "Look at me! Look at my new car!" And this blog is a venue for that. However, it feels also like repentance. Why on earth do I need these features? Power windows were enough to sell me (no, I've never had power windows in a car before). Why do I need this extravagance? It makes me uneasy. Not just because of the luxury, but I'm a "throw-garbage-on-the-floor, who-cares-if-you-spill, it's-only-a-car" kind of girl. But last night, when Pat got in with a soda, I found myself saying (not even remotely kidding), "Be careful. Don't spill that in my car." AHHHH!!!! Who have I become in 3 short days??? Can a car be a catalyst to changing my lazy ways? I definitely check my blindspots more carefully than before (and there are bigger blindspots with this body style), so it has made me a safer driver, I suppose. That's good. But I liken it to firmly believing no one should ever have to take their shoes off in my house. I have dogs. They track more mud and grit and snow in than you ever could. (Of course, I have very smelly feet, so I hate taking my shoes off in others' homes, so maybe that's why I don't ask for it, and never will, in my own home.) But I digress. Shocking. Where is the line between sloppy, old car driver and shiny, new car driver? When there is a toddler in the back throwing Goldfish crackers everywhere, I'm pretty sure I'll have to be over it. So, I have 3-4 years to change? To get used to this vehicle? I hope I can manage.

In short (ha), I love my new car. Okay, hon, OUR new car. I'll work on that. (It IS actually titled in Pat's name...) BUT, I do not want to be a middle-class yuppy with a shiny car. So, I think I'll get my parks sticker renewed, a new MPR decal stuck to the rear window, and maybe even find a place for the HRC and reusable bag stickers I love so much (not the bumper, though, or Pat might kill me). Sigh. I'm basically a head-case who worries too much. But if you know me at all, you already knew that.

Shift on. V Dubyoo in da haus! (Our salesperson, by the way, was Yugoslavian, so he almost had the perfect accent for doing that...)

Bon appetit!

2009-04-28T20:50:00.002-05:00

It is not my tendency to post recipes, as this is not my goal of my blog (though it is for others, and I love them for it), but I am SO HAPPY with the meal I just made, I want to share.

History: Somewhat long story short, my husband is now on a strict diet (and, by proxy, me too). To this end, I immediately went out and bought the American Heart Association's Low-fat, Low-cholesterol cookbook and have been cooking our evening meals from it ever since (we're in our third week). None of these recipes have steered me wrong. From salads and vegetarian casseroles to Philly cheesesteak pizza (yes, low-fat, low chol!), they've all been delicious. Pat thinks so, too.

Tonight's recipe is also from the cookbook, but I am so very proud of it for a couple of reasons:
1. It was my very first from-scratch risotto (a dish I love). I've done boxed before, but never the "real thing"
2. I got to use ingredients I rarely, if ever, use (have I ever cooked with leeks before?)
3. My husband was my sous chef, rinsing and drying and chopping and stirring :-)
4. It was delicious! Like from a restaurant!

I can't take credit; as I said, it wasn't my recipe, but alas, I will share it, because you will love it, too:

Seafood and Lemon Risotto (Pat's not supposed to eat shellfish, but small amounts don't effect him too bad)

Ingredients:
Veg. oil spray
1 medium leek, sliced
2 medium garlic cloves, minced
1 cup uncooked arborio rice
2 cups fat-free, low-sodium chicken broth, divided
1 cup dry white wine
8 oz. scallops, rinsed and patted dry
8 oz. raw medium shrimp, rinsed and peeled
3 oz. fresh snow pea pods (this is one thing I might change next time, as the pods were really big...I would use a different veg. or chop them small)
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped (I used orange, because the store was out of red when I shopped)
3 tablespoons grated or shredded parmesan (I used fresh grated and it was delicious)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil or 2 teaspoons dried, crumbled
2 tablespoons finely shredded lemon zest
extra parmesan for garnish (optional)

Directions:
Heat a medium sauce pan (because I didn't have a clean medium sauce pan, I used my big one, and I can't imagine using a smaller one) over medium-low heat. Remove from heat and lightly spray with vegetable oil spray. Return pan to the heat and cook the leeks and garlic for 5 minutes, or until the leeks are tender.

Stir in the rice. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring often.

Stir in 1 1/2 cups broth. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring occasionally., Reduce the heat and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Pour in the remaining 1/2 cup broth and the wine. Increase the heat to medium; cook for 5-8 minutes, stirring constantly (a small amount of liquid will remain).

Add the scallops, shrimp, pea pods, and bell pepper. Cook for 5 minutes, or until the liquid is almost absorbed, stirring constantly. (The rice should be just tender and slightly creamy.)

Stir in parmesan, basil, and lemon zest. Heat through. Serve immediately. Serve with additional parm.

The cook's tip (from the book): For proper consistency, carefully regulate the cooking temperature so the risotto boils lightly, not vigorously. If liquid is absorbed before rice is tender, add more liquid (your choice) a little at a time. If you choose a different rice, it will not be as creamy.

Servings: 4 (big portions, too)
Calories: 395
Total fat: 2 g
Cholesterol: 106 mg
Sodium: 297 mg
Carbs: 54 g
Fiber: 3 g
Protein: 26 g

And, if you've never made risotto before (as I hadn't) there's a sense of pride in it, like all the f***ing stirring was worth it in the end!

Goodness me!

2009-04-23T09:27:00.003-05:00

I am a disloyal blogger. It has been since March 2nd that I posted here. Shame, shame on facebook for taking over my online social publication. My apologies, dear readers. I find myself today with nothing on my to-do list. My work to-do list, that is. My home to-do list is exceedingly out of control. But, lucky for you, I'm at work, not home.

As I may or may not have mentioned, I have a student teacher this semester (we'll call her N). It makes me feel entirely grown up. I teach every day, but teaching someone to teach is very different. I am no expert. I have many doubts about my abilities (I'm blogging during work hours, after all). But in seeing the progression of N's skills over the last 2 months, I am proud to say I have something to do with it. She is passionate and fun, and we get along pretty well. (Although, she is very much on the opposite end of the political spectrum, something rare in teaching, and I have found this influences both the way I view her [I'm only human] and the way she interacts with our colleagues. She has foot-in-mouthed herself more than once at the lunch table. :-).) Still, she is well-liked by most students and teachers. I think she will be a very good teacher indeed. Having her with me has reminded me how much I've grown in my own career. She will be 24 (she is 23 now) when she starts teaching next fall (pending a job...not an easy market, as we all well know). I was 21 when I started teaching. N and I are only 4 years apart in age, but it is amazing how much I see her as a "kid". She graduated HS in 2004, did college in 3 years (something we have in common), and entered the business world. Hated it. Went back to grad school to become a teacher. So, she's older than most student teachers, but her mannerisms are often so immature, I've made fun of her (don't worry; she can take it). She lives at home to save money, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, her mom makes her lunch every morning and she gets so excited to see what's in her bag each day. It's hilarious. Our age difference is just enough to make her part of a different time, as she was in high school when IMing and myspace and all these crazy things became popular. Her 24-year-old boyfriend (BF, as she calls him...seriously) broke up with her over facebook. Yeah. That's what I said. She says things like BTW, PS, JK; things that drive me insane from my students. Yet, she relates to them on a level I don't. Overall, it has been a good experience for us both, I think. For me, because I have been able to reflect on my own teaching methods and styles as I impart them to N, and, more importantly, because it has helped me in my never-ending quest to be more flexible and willing to relinquish control. So far, so good, as I'm sitting in my cubicle typing this as she teaches my class downstairs. Her class. Good for her. Really.

Thus, since speech is over (4 to state, 2 finalists, by the way!), and N has half my caseload, I find myself with no work to-do list. So, I blog. It's been awhile.

The most wonderful thing that has happened since I fell off the face of the blogworld is the birth of my best friend's baby boy. Little Evan came exactly 3 weeks early on Easter Sunday. I won't post pictures without her permission, but if you know who I'm talking about, go to her facebook page and check him out. He's ADORABLE. The poor guy had a bit of a rough delivery, plus the early arrival, so he (and mom) had to stay in the hospital for 6 days. Yuck. But he's doing absolutely splendidly now. I'm going over to visit again after school today. I need my Evan fix. I visited the day after he was born, and he had to spend most of my visit in his little incubating light box thing, but even with a mask over his eyes, I knew he was a handsome and wonderful boy. His movements, however, are most memorable. Every few minutes, he'd stretch his little arms and legs out as far as they'd go, as if thinking to himself, "where did my comfy bubble go?" Then, when I visited again two days later (still at the hospital), I finally got to hold him and cuddle him and stroke his lovely face and hands. He is too precious for words. I pretty much fell instantly in love with him. Easy to do, as his parents are so easy to love themselves. I am very excited to see him again after school. Great job, Kristin!

Other than that, nothing thrilling has happened that I can think of. I was able to take a trip over spring break to see Jen, my other BFF (taking a page from N's book there), and Les met me there, too. We had a great long weekend together of fun times. It's lovely to spend time with people you love so dearly, but rarely see, knowing you are able to pick up right where you left off. Now if only they'd both move back to MN...

I suppose I could find some work-related things to do now. I will try to be more diligent about the blogging. But that's what I keep saying about exercising, too...

Happy belated Earth Day!

The Long Haul

2009-03-02T12:06:00.002-06:00

(I have finished my correcting, and my brain is near numb. I need to rest it during the remaining twenty minutes of my prep hour by blogging, because I have to lecture straight through the next two periods. Bad to blog at work? Yes. Am I doing it anyway? You betcha. )

We have conferences at school today, so I am now in hour five of my thirteen-hour day. Yikes. Conferences are usually for six hours over two non-consecutive days. One of those days was to be last Thursday when it snowed five inches in one hour here in the ville of lakes. Needless to say, conferences were cancelled. To make up for it, we're staying an extra hour tonight. I think it's a great trade-off. Four hours instead of six? Can't argue that math. Regardless, it is a long-ass day. And a Monday. Blah. I mostly just want to be sleeping right now.

(I was going to write more, but students have invaded :-))

Winners!

2009-02-16T12:40:00.002-06:00

Even though it's more than five, I want to send all the commenters something! You need to send the joy forward in some way, even if it's not with a blog challenge post like mine (Dave doesn't blog any more, Kris doesn't have a blog, etc.) I trust you!

1. Chris (who should be, since she started it!)
2. Dave
3. Kristin
4. Jen
5. Heather
6. Les

All people I'm happy to send joy to. Watch your mailboxes this week! (Chris, send me your address...)

Blog challenge (and a plug)

2009-02-14T20:07:00.003-06:00

I've been challenged by Chris. Who was challenged by Michelle, who saw it on a blog who saw it on another blog. (you can follow the trail, or hurry up and read below)...

The deal is, the first 5 people who comment will receive something in the mail that I've made.

The stickler, is that if you comment, you have to do the same on your blog. Cool?

"Snail mail" is a lost art, I believe, and I love to send and receive real mail (I got a surprise package from my sister last week, and it made my week!). Molly (dearest of dears, who has a poetry at the Roseville Barnes & Noble this Thursday night at 7:30; be there or be square) sends things via real mail all the time. Notes, cards, trinkets. When I get something in the mail from Molly (because it really happens so frequently), my husband says, "You got a Molly in the mail today." And (though she thinks I should recycle) I keep every piece of mail she sends me because she will soon be a famous writer, and her letters will be worth something. Rejoice in sharing the love of fun things in the mail.

Ready.....set.....comment:

And...

2009-01-26T18:19:00.002-06:00

It is only fair to also admit: I believe I have been neglecting my blog due to facebook. Bad, facebook! I knew I would easily fall victim to it. One of the reasons I resisted for so long. But everyone knows I have the willpower of a lemming, so no surprise.

First of 2009

2009-01-26T18:11:00.002-06:00

This is my first post of the new year. It has been almost a month since I posted! Time flies. I meant to write more, but the semester ended, speech started, and I've just been busy, busy, busy all the time. My free time is better spent relaxing my brain (read: watching tv) than blogging, I guess. Sorry, loyal readers (all four of you).

The only thing I can think to write about at this moment is my getting sick. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I have an awful cough, a fever, and all those achy joints which point to illness. I was fine at about 2. It was all downhill from there. It being the first week of the semester, I really need to try and tough it out without a sick day, so the hubby is getting me some cough syrup as I write. I was very sick in the middle of December, right before we left for Jamaica, and I thought that would be it for the year. But apparently, I was wrong. Ick. I'm even feeling worse now than when it occurred to me to post (inspired by Bonnie, who hadn't posted since Dec. 14, and has posted 2 good posts since I last checked).

Off to bed, I guess. Or at least laying on the couch wrapped in a blankie. Yes. I said blankie. I revert to childlike behaviors when I'm sick. But then, doesn't everyone?

Different than last year...

2008-12-28T16:16:00.003-06:00

Another New Year's Meme. I enjoy keeping track, tallying up the scores, making lists, reminiscing. I am not as talented with it as Molly, however, who provides a list every month. So, I turn to memes instead, easy ways of summarizing and looking forward. This one is different (though not a lot) from last year's, so hopefully I won't repeat myself.

1. Will you be looking for a new job? I am committed to my current job for a while, I believe, but I am never willing to dismiss the idea that we might up and move if necessary.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship? I'm always seeking new friendships, of course, but I am eternally happy in the romantic relationship I enjoy daily.

3. New house? I look constantly for fun, but I think we'll be here for another few years before we move.

4. What will you do differently in 09? Hmmmm...I will make small changes I'm sure; things like cooking, time management, and sleeping (I don't get enough) are easily tweaked until satisfactory.

5. New Years resolution? This year I resolve to both keep off the weight I shed in 08 and to lose even more. We were joking at WW about how many people will be joining us the first week of the new year, and indeed, weight loss is a very trite resolution, but it is nonetheless important to me.

6. What will you not be doing in 09? Hard to say. I'm open to most things.

7. Any trips planned? None, actually, which is remarkable considering the traveling I've done this past year (Arkansas, Dallas, New York, South Dakota, BWCA, and most recently, Jamaica). We will maybe venture to visit more people: Anne and Josh in OH? Les and Jonathon in AR? Angie in CA? Jen in TX? Val and Mike in MI? Dave and Abby in IL? People keep moving away, so our vacations could easily focus on them. 2010 already hold an international vacation, so we'll have that to look forward to all year as well.

8. Wedding plans? Not my own, of course, but this year Radley and Kelly, David and Nicole, and a cousin of mine are all getting married (so far, that I know of).

9. Major thing on your calendar? May 3rd and June 11th: due dates of my friends Kristin and Jessica, respectively. I am very excited for these wonderful women who will make even more wonderful mothers.

10. What can’t you wait for? See question 9

11. What would you like to see happen differently? Hopefully, our entire nation will experience a shift like we've never felt before. With Obama's election, hope really has been brought back to this country. I can't wait to see everything happen differently under our new leader. I realized after Nov. 4th, I've spent my entire adult life under GWB's leadership. I remember vaguely Clinton's presidency during my middle and high school years, but I was mostly unaware of how it affected me. Now, with a wonderful new man to take the reins, I wait with bated breath for the change that is sure to come.

12. What about yourself will you be changing? My waistline, I hope :-). I am also focusing on being a more patient person. I believe I'm doing well, but I'm sure I have a long way to go.

13. What happened in 08 that you didn’t think would ever happen? Sadly, I had little faith that our nation would elect a black president. I've never been happier to be wrong. Never been prouder to call myself an American. God bless Obama.

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about? I always try to be as nice as possible. I will strive to be nicer to my students. Less sarcasm and all that.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 08? Smaller sizes, I hope :-).

16. Will you start or quit drinking? No, I am quite content with my drinking level.

17. Will you better your relationship with your family? It's good and difficult at the same time and I doubt it will change much in 2009.

18. Will you do charity work? Yes. I definitely need to volunteer more than I do. I am becoming one of those people who writes checks instead of gives time. One should always do both.

19. Will you go to bars? I rarely do, actually, and I don't think that will change much. With a husband who doesn't drink, it's easy to avoid bars.

20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know? I think I'm already nice to people I don't know, but I will go out of my way to help others.

21. Do you expect 09 to be a good year for you? I expect every year to be a good year for me. Set your expectations high and enjoy living up to them.

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now? That is a very hard question to answer. I believe all my changes are for the better, though. I am a better teacher, a better wife, a better friend; I am more fit, more educated, more available.

23. Do you plan on having a child? Yes, but probably not in 09 :-).

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? Yes, of course, but it continues to get harder as people keep moving away!!!

25. Major lifestyle changes? Nothing major I can think of. We will try, however, like the rest of the nation, to be more thrifty as we approach another year of financial crisis.

26. Will you move? Probably not, but you never know.

27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 09 that happened in 08? I don't believe I have the power to make sure things don't happen, but I will do my best to prevent all bad things from happening.

28. What are your New Years Eve plans? Another NYE date with Heather and Travas. Last year we stayed in; this year, I think we'll go out and paint the town. Or at least go out to dinner and to a club of some sort. Anyone available to join us?

30. One wish for 09? Peace on Earth and goodwill to all people? Too much? I wish for daily pleasures like stretching, cuddling with the dogs, cooking with my husband, fresh fruit in bright colors, a good book and a quilt, hot chocolate with marshmallows, text messages (or handwritten notes in Molly's case) from friends, smiles, hot baths, board games, and other happy things.

Happy New Year, all! Farewell to 2008. I tag Leslie, Bonnie, Jen, and Heather to also complete this meme, because none of them write on their blogs often enough (less frequently even than me!).

Will we ever learn?

2008-12-16T19:00:00.002-06:00

It was snowing during rush hour again today, for about the fourth time this year so far (we are getting SO much snow). But the traffic and the accidents and the idiocy seem to get worse and worse. When will MN drivers learn that the best way to make it through is to be patient, drive smart, and remember there is ice and snow under-tire? It took me 30 minutes to get from work to the clinic (urgent care...sick...needed drugs...about 10 miles), 25 minutes to get from clinic to doggy daycare (about 5 miles), and one whole hour to get from the daycare home (about 18 miles). Two hours of driving. SLOWLY. And half of it with dogs. Car after car in the ditch, many reports of accidents, and every road in every direction completely backed up. No, you can't slam on the brakes in ice and snow and expect to stop instead of slide and veer. Yes, you do need to keep your eyes on the car in front of you. No, you shouldn't talk on your cell and change the radio stations. No, you shouldn't expect to be home at the same hour. Yes, you should go the f#@* home and stay there, you crazy weather drivers!!!!!

1,461

2008-12-10T07:52:00.003-06:00

It doesn't seem like that long of a time when you count it out in days. 1,461 days of feeling like a new person. Of feeling like shouting and screaming...in a good way. Of being able to smile with ease, sleep in comfort, and dream happy dreams. Four years ago was our first date. Not everyone pinpoints this moment. Probably some people stop celebrating the small anniversaries of first dates, first kisses, first other special times, when they get married and have a "legal" anniversary. But I will never, ever forget these dates and times and experiences. That first date was the moment everything changed. Yes, the marriage changed things, too, but he was already in my life, already sharing a home, already loving me. It is corny, trite, and possibly unbelievable, but it really was our first date when I first thought, "I could spend my life with this man." I am sure he wasn't quite as confident as me (since I'm easily the crazy one), but we clicked from the get-go. You've all heard the story, but let's revisit for reminiscence sake:

Having known each other through friends for years, we never spoke more than a "hey" to each other before the summer of weddings (2004 was a little insane). Being newly single myself, every potentially single, dateable man was on my radar. At Anne and Josh's wedding (July), I considered Patrick, but he was dancing with another girl all night, so that was that. At Heather and Trav's wedding (August) however, we were both in the wedding party, and we were both the only singles. Sweet. Happenstance put us together at the reception for the formal wedding party dance, and then we ended up dancing all night. Some of us went out afterwards, and I invited him to join us. He said no. Again, that was that. In September, a random dinner gathering in the cities brought us together once more. I remember saying to Anne, "I plan on flirting with your friend Pat tonight; I hope you don't mind." But mostly, it was because I was coming off a really bad string of dates, was sorely depressed, and was planning on getting drunk. Indeed, I did get drunk. I remember awkwardly being forced to sit next to Pat at the restaurant (people moved very obviously and it was embarrassing), but I don't remember how the night ended. Up to this point, we'd never really had a real conversation. It wasn't until Thanksgiving at Heather and Trav's party (we would have seen each other in October at a Halloween party, too, completing the once a month thing, but he decided randomly to fly to Texas to visit family) did we actually, really, genuinely talk. A lot. I scarcely remember who else was at that party. And he ate two pieces of the apple pie I baked. I am an old-fashioned woman who likes nothing more than a man enjoying her cooking. My heart was all a-flutter. We were the last to leave. But, no request for a phone number even, let alone a date. Sigh. Heather took things into her own hands and told her husband how much I liked him. Travas told Pat, gave him my number. The next day he called. (It should be noted, I actually remember every detail of that first phone call, too, but I'll spare you.)

Fast forward two weeks later, the first time he could get down to Mankato (the first 6 months of relationship were long distance in nature). Stereotypically, we met for drinks after a hockey game. The bar we were meeting at was packed, so we walked about 5 blocks in the freezing cold to find a place with chairs available. Great way to start a first date. But when we got there, it became the perfect first date. Drinks and talking...for hours. We closed the place down without even realizing it. I thought our waitress was being pushy, coming back so many times, but it turns out she had only stopped over three times in three hours. We just had no concept of time. We talked about so many things. There was never a lull. Sigh. It was perfect. Over the next month, we followed this very movie-like, stereotype of a dating progression. Second date: dinner and a move. Third date: a dinner of convenience (I was in his neck of the woods). Fourth date: movie on the couch, out with friends for drinks and karaoke, sleepover. Fifth date: a friend's party, together, for the first time (we even potlucked it together, stopping at the grocery store on the way). It was New Year's Eve and he kissed me at midnight in front of our friends. Heaven.

The rest, as they say, is history. More or less. We've gone through a lot together in the past four years, but some things we've never done include: break up (not once, not even for a day), fought (like really fight, like say things you can't take back, walk out on each other, etc.), doubt. It is silly to think I was ever in love before Patrick. I just never knew what true, real, unconditional love felt like. It's the best kind. Some people think we moved too fast (moved in together after a year, got engaged after a year and a half, married after two and a half), but those people are crazy. I would've have married Pat after four dates. When you know, you feel it. And it was fabulous. Still is.

Next week, we fly to Jamaica to celebrate. A second honeymoon before your second wedding anniversary sounds extravagant, but we are just enjoying every minute we have together, and we love to travel almost as much as we love each other :-).

Happy first-date, day my life changed, anniversary, honey. I love you.

Oh, yeah!

2008-12-06T20:15:00.004-06:00

I have happy news! Happy, happy, happy news! I received this happy news weeks ago (October 23rd, to be exact), and immediately wanted to spread the joy, but was told not to. I asked, "May I blog about this merriment?" but there were people who had not been told in person yet, and you know how the internet community can be. I bet you want to know the news. Actually, I've talked to most of you readers in person since then, so probably you all know, but to announce and rejoice formally:

THERE WILL BE A NEW BABY SOON!

My dear, wonderful, amazing friend Kristin and her (nearly) equally super husband Dan expect a new family member in May. Ordinarily, you might think, "a woman who's been married for four years in her twenties...baby; that makes sense." But with Kristin it's so much better than just making sense. It's perfect. I can think of few people as well-equipped to be mothers as Krissy (she hates that). I have known her since we were 3, and I've never met anyone as kind, honest, even-tempered, selfless, or forgiving as Kristin. She will be a fabulous mother. Many, many wishes of congratulations for my friend and her family.

I remembered I hadn't blogged this happiness when I was puttering around on the internet after dinner tonight and looked over at our first Christmas card next to me; it's from Kristin and Dan, of course! And it is the most clever little hand-made card. I shall try and explain it, but without images, it may be lost on you (if I were Molly, I would just take a picture of it and post it here for you to enjoy; I am not Molly): on the front, there is a ball of snow and it says "one" and then that ball with another ball on top of it, "two..." and then you open the card and there's the whole three-balled snowman and it reads, "and baby makes three!" Cute, right? See? Good mom and good cardmaker. No wonder I love her :-).

Also, coincidentally, I was shopping with girlfriends today (and baking Christmas cookies...yum!) and I bought the baby's Christmas gift. Yes, you can buy gifts for babies who are still in the womb. Yes, you CAN! It was one of those moments, where you just see something, not even looking, and think, "Oh. So wonderful. If only I had a baby to get it for..." Well, now I do! Okay, I don't have a baby. But one will be only a 30-minute drive away in a mere 5 months.

Love to Kristin and Dan and Baby.

Festive Festivities

2008-11-26T09:43:00.002-06:00

And so it begins. A poinsettia on my desk (purchased from a fundraising student, of course). Christmas music on my car radio (alternating with MPR, which has plenty of holiday-related fodder of its own). Pie recipes dancing in my head for baking this evening. Our first holiday extravaganza behind us, I now have many, many, many more to enjoy in the next month and a half.

We spent last Saturday “back home” to celebrate with Pat’s family. If I’ve never mentioned, they miraculously decided years ago never to try and celebrate a holiday on the holiday, thus not competing with spousal families. I love my in-laws. So, we ate, we drank, we were merry. And we played football with the nieces and nephews and it was wonderfully enjoyable. It started as Pat and the four kids against two older nephews and two other uncles. Then another uncle joined in on Pat’s side, then so did I. We still lost. But it was super fun. Pat is most adorable with his nieces and nephews, and will be the best dad ever. Can’t wait.

Tonight, we’re going to my brother-in-law’s in Northeast for a little wine and cheese pre-Thanksgiving party. Then tomorrow to my aunt’s for all the traditional fare. Friday, to my other aunt’s for her annual Texas Hold ‘em Turkey Flop. Saturday, a gathering with friends across town. Four parties in four days? Only during the holidays. Then it really begins…

In the month of December there are already six holiday engagements on my calendar. January will offer the in-laws’ Christmas, as well as Pat’s work’s holiday party. And we’ll have to do something for New Year’s, right? All this, and we’re going to Jamaica for six days!

This is why people get stressed during the holidays: the sheer volume of things to keep track of. Despite all this (because of all this, rather), I am elated the holidays are here. I love them. I love the baking and the decorating and the music and the togetherness. I don’t like the cold, but it is inevitable. In the next two months, I will see all the people I love. Jen from Texas (for a whole week!), Les and Jonathon from Arkansas (they, too, are coming for a week, but they have more people than just me to visit), Angie from California (seeing as she works retail, her visit isn’t until late January, but still), and Anne and Josh from Ohio (like L & J, the visit will be brief, but nonetheless special). Time together is the best gift indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Holidays. Love to you.

Pleasantly Surprised

2008-11-19T07:58:00.002-06:00

Speech team try-outs are this week. We had 40 people sign up. This is unprecedented for us, and I'm totally thrilled. I have two amazing new coaches (I know we haven't even started yet, but I can just tell how awesome they are). And my captains are the best captains I've ever had.

I know I said I wanted desperately to quit this overly demanding position. And I did. But I am realizing how important it is to me. Mostly, it's the kids. Three things happened to show me how much they love me (yes, I'm bragging, but there's more...)
1. A sophomore favorite (yes, of course I have favorites) was telling me about how he was recruiting for the team, "Mrs. [My last name] is the coach. That's all you need to know." Jeff, I said, you need tell them more than that. "Uh-uh. You make it as fun as it is." Being as I'm all he's known, I suppose that makes sense.
2. Suzanne, who's been an assistant here as long as I have been head, had to quit. Students cried. She didn't even work with all of them. And she was only here twice a week. But they loved her, and were sad and mad both when she left. This strong reaction makes me worry how they'll react when I DO quit. Clearly, they aren't ready (and neither am I, but I will be some day, like when I have kids...can't work 12-hour days when you have kids).
3. My awesome and a half captains were talking t-shirt designs, and last year the slogan included my name. So, they say, "This year, we're going to put your picture on the shirt and it will say [My last name]'s Homies" NO! I said. No more ME on t-shirts! The shirts are for SPEECH! "But [My last name], you ARE speech." Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I feel like Sally Fields in 1979: "You like me! You really like me!" But what I've realized is that no matter when I decide to give this up (only partially, as assistant coaching will still be on the agenda), it will not be easy. Right now, my freshman when I started are my seniors. Four years. One complete cycle. But now I've got new crops of kids I want to see all the way through. It won't happen if I have babies when I want to, so it already makes me sad. The fact that my current sophomore favorites will be seniors when I most likely quit is sad. I'm sad. No longer excited. I complain and complain about this work, but I love, love, love, love it. There's just no denying it :-).

Too much all around

2008-11-10T07:38:00.002-06:00

This weekend was not glorious, nor was it all it should have been. It was fun, enjoyable, and certainly productive, but it wasn't what it should have been. Highlights:
1. Leaving work at noon on Friday (a student-free workday) to lunch and see a matinee with my husband
2. Momentous WW meeting Saturday morning (half-way to goal, people!)
3. Impromptu lunch and shopping with Heather on Saturday
4. A jaunt to Red Wing for Molly's annual wine-tasting where so much fun was had, I (like Molly and Chris) was sore the next morning (both from the wine and the infinite amounts of laughter)
5. The Vikings beat the Packers
6. Cleaning and grocery shopping and working out on Sunday made the weekend complete

But it was incomplete as well. I feel full right now. Mentally, physically full. There is too much to handle. It's as if no scrap of emotion can squeeze its way in; too much already exists. It is this feeling that made me snappy and crabby through all the fun of the weekend. On edge, my husband says. He feels it, too, but his pressures come from other directions. We pick at each other like children, annoyed with the smallest things. Perspective allows us to laugh at ourselves, but then not two hours later we pick again. We apologize and we're fine, but it's not nice. And it shouldn't continue. But the one person you feel most comfortable with inevitably becomes your sounding board and your whipping post. It is true for both of us. Something to work on, no doubt.

I have two pressures causing my conflicting self. The first is the impending speech season. With auditions next week and practice beginning after Thanksgiving, my vow to quit is long-gone and I'm not regretting it. I am, however, filled with nervous energy. I both dread and enjoy the next five months. But this is nothing compared to my grief. If you live in my region, you may have seen or read that we lost a student last week. Two sisters, a sophomore and a senior, were in a car accident. The senior's injuries were fatal; the sophomore, a beloved student of mine, will recover. Recover. I don't believe this is possible. She will wake up, be physically well, but how do you recover from losing your big sister? Dealing with this in the classroom, continuing day to day instruction as best as possible is SO hard. The funeral is tomorrow after school. Hard to be normal. Hard to feel joy. Conflict.

So, while this weekend was super, it was incomplete. Always in the back of my mind, pushing toward the front, this grief, this pressure. I am shaky all the time. I will cry many more times. It is just so much.

Happy Day

2008-11-04T22:09:00.001-06:00

Nothing is more exciting than this day. Sigh of relief. God bless America.

Twilight

2008-10-21T21:19:00.003-05:00

Okay. I finally did it. After literally years of being told how wonderful this book is (it was published in 2005), I have read Twilight. And honestly, it wasn't as good as everyone claims...it's better. (Totally trite, right? :-)) I am amazed at how much I was sucked in to this story line. I am eager to get started on the second book, but I've been told it's the worst of the four. I shall muster through in order to get to books three and four, which apparently live up to the standards of the first book.

Here's the thing: although, the suspense and intrigue kept my attention well, as did Meyer's easy prose (easy, because it's a young adult book, but also because you are swept up into every situation), I was most absorbed by her perfect portrayal of not just first love or teen love, but of real, sacrificing love. Forget the vampires, people, this is a love story above all else, and a really, really good one. Very Romeo and Juliet-esque with its "no, we simply can't be together" thesis (I'm not revealing anything that's not on the book jacket, by the way, as I know you'll all go out tomorrow and pick up a copy at Target for $8.79 as I did), and that is unoriginal, I admit. But the ferocity with which Meyer writes is flawless. As I read, I could 100% feel the energies of falling and then being in true love. The anxiety she feels, I felt. I had literal tension and butterflies in my stomach. I blushed along with Bella when Edward entered a room. It was intense, and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

Further, the renewal of those initial passions, the first meeting, the first real conversation, the first kiss, the long hours of chatter learning about each other, reminded me so completely of the experience of falling in love with my husband, that it was reassuring that this is normal. This marriage, this love. This feeling of complete abandon toward another person. It's not uncommon; it's the norm for people who truly would sacrifice anything for their love. And that's a good thing. Not because I want to be "normal" or I thought my feelings were "weird" but because it feels so damn good, I wish every day that every other person I know is as happy in their relationship as I am in mine.

This has drifted from book review to love letter, but I really enjoyed the book that much. I'm not a literary snob by any means, though. I judge a book based on its ability to make me feel something. Whatever the emotion they want me to feel, the stronger it is within me, the more I like the book. Twilight made me feel great :-).

By this weekend, a follow-up on book two, no doubt. (I bought Twilight just yesterday...)

Utterly Random Thoughts

2008-10-20T13:31:00.004-05:00

One: Sometimes, I am a terrible teacher. I expect my students to know things, when, in fact, they may have little to no reason to have the prior knowledge. I get annoyed when they can’t follow the simplest of instructions. Can’t follow the blatant examples I display for them. I take for granted my own ability to follow directions and catch on quickly. Why can’t they be more like me?

We’re researching and working on works cited pages. I spent half a class period last week (30 minutes) going over the format, showing them examples, explaining why we need them (which should all be review for them, as they covered this in middle school). Today, putting it into action, I have had to sit with no fewer than half my students and walk them through it step by tedious step. They have directions. They have examples. Why are they so incapable of understanding? They range in age from 14-18. I could understand if they were third-graders, but come on!

Two: Despite this, I am having a good day. It’s odd when we have time off (MEA Madness this past four days), and I find I have missed my students and colleagues.

Three: Tonight, it will freeze. Cover those tomato plants; pluck your apples from their branches (me, I have only one small oregano plant to protect; perhaps next year a real garden). Just yesterday it was over 70. Shorts and bare feet while painting the window trim. Fall in Minnesota is gloriously unpredictable.

Four: Update-- I did give Patrick more than a poem for his birthday. Much to his surprise and delight, I broke down and gave him the PS3 he’s been chattering about for months. He is rather selfless, my husband, and definitely wouldn’t buy this luxury item for himself. When I wanted a Wii, he tried for months to get me one and managed to succeed (between Thanksgiving and Christmas, no less!). He works hard and spoils me, so it’s only fair. Also, it was one of those situations where the giving is as satisfying as the getting, as previously I had all but banned the system from the house. He was very shocked to see it and I was delighted to watch him enjoy it.

Five: Only two weeks and one day until the election. I will spare you my current detailed thoughts, but I do believe things are looking better and better every day. God willing and the creek don’t rise…

Happy Birthday, Husband

2008-10-13T07:22:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, on a beautiful, wonderful, unexpectedly warm autumn Sunday, my husband "completed another trip around the sun." This is his sentiment toward birthdays as an adult (read: no big deal). Consequently, we had a very low-key day. Because he doesn't put much stock in the birthday tradition, he didn't mind that we traveled to my hometown for brunch with my family (Les, dear sister, found her way to MN on this gorgeous weekend, and yesterday was the only iota of time we could spare her and vice versa. In her words, "Coming one day and leaving the next sucks." Thirteen hours each way is a haul for two days, but, as I said, "It's better than nothing.") And brunch was good.

After that, all Patrick wanted was to go home, put on sweatpants, and watch football. Yes, easy to please, that one. We did make a stop on the drive home at a roadside apple farm, buying half a peck of apples, two pumpkins, and a caramel apple pie, still hot from the oven (and I pride myself on baking tasty pies, but this pie was delightful). But get home we did, and watch football we did (watched my fantasy team suffer their first loss of the season as well...tear). No fanfare, no going out. Just "my woman and football". And the pie. And the dinner I made. But you get the idea. Simple things.

Because I have not yet bought him a gift ("I don't need presents," he says, but I think a birthday's not a birthday without at least a little something; but unlike me, who told him precisely what to get me for MY birthday, he is entirely unhelpful), I am giving him this:

To My Husband on His Birthday, 2008

The rickety brown couch we both wish
we would not have purchased
is not a suitable perch for our love.

The mismatched sweatpants and t-shirt
I wore are not the costume of a woman
trying to impress a man.

The sounds of sports on tv and
dogs barking in the yard are not
music to an average ear.

The almost scorched pork chop and
potatoes mashed with slightly sour milk
do not describe a perfect meal.

But.

You are not suitable.
You are not to be impressed.
You are not average.
You are not perfect.
You are mine.

And you are everything to me.

Happy birthday, dear one. May every day we have together be as perfect as yesterday was.

Today I wore socks

2008-10-08T07:15:00.002-05:00

I avoid socks usually until it snows. The exception being socks with sneakers when I work out, but even then, I take them off immediately. But after yesterday's chilling rain (wearing a coat for the first time), I woke up this morning feeling socksy. My toes are warm, my ankles are cuddled, and fall has officially begun for me.

But we still haven't turned on the heat :-).

The suits are here

2008-10-07T12:50:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I know the content of my blog has been lacking in substance lately, save my occasional political rants. Give me one more month and I'll move on (hopefully). Political ranting continues:

There are secret service patrolling my work place. Scary looking men in suits and earpieces. Inspectors. Inspecting the next site of the next republican campaign stop. That's right: McCain is coming. Here. Alone, thank God, or I might bust. (I have more issue with Little Miss I Can See Russia From My House than with McHero.) Here are some random thoughts on this occurrence, both good and bad:
1. I'm pissed I can't go. At first I was on the fence about going, but as soon as I found out I couldn't, I want nothing more than to be there. Because they are renting the space, we have no claim over this public building in which we work. In fact, even if you're on their side, you need to volunteer to get tickets. Not that I would heckle or anything, but it would be an experience either way. "I saw McCain speak," I could say one day. And my grandkids would say, "Who's that?" and I would reply, "He's the man that lost the election to President Obama in 2008." "Ohhhhhhh," they would say knowingly. Instead, I'm going to stay in the building as close to 4:00 (school gets out at 2:37, my work day technically ends at 3) as they'll let me. Perhaps I can catch a glimpse, of the hero himself, of the swarms of people, of the media, of something worth telling my grandkids. I am becoming a story collector. Maybe I'll try to get in and have SS stop me, "Excuse me, miss (too young still to be ma'am in my opinion). Do you have a ticket?" I'll stand defiant, "NO! But I'm a tax-paying citizen and employee of this building and I want to be a part of the process. Let me in!" I will try to step past him and we will fight. Perhaps I shall be tasered.

2. I'm excited for my school to get some more publicity. Despite my many concerns with the district and the community at large, I love my students and am lucky to work here. In complete contradiction...

3. I am extremely discontent with this school being used as the backdrop for this campaign. THIS school is everything that's right with education. I'm not tooting my horn here, but this school was not chosen by accident. We are a rapidly growing community with a brand new high school. It's gorgeous. We want for nothing here, despite our budgetary concerns. We are not Title I, so NCLB means very little to us. And though we haven't met AYP in the past 3 years, it is a matter of 25 special ed students that keep us below the bar. We have the highest ACT average in the state, and MN has the highest average in the nation. Use the gymnasium at a metro high school, where they want for everything. Show the peeling paint and broken bleachers. Explain why that district closed and boarded up schools this year. Using this beautiful, bountiful school as an example of an American school is, excuse me, a complete crock of shit.

4. My students say the darnedest things:
"Is he the black one?"
"Why is he coming here? Did we win a contest or something?"
"Why can't I go?"
"Secret service agents are hot."

5. Ironic: this week the AP Government class is sponsoring a voter registration table at lunch for students 18+. At this age, the students rallying for their rights, are more likely than not rallying for the other side. But this community is overwhelmingly Republican, so I'm sure that's why it was chosen.

6. Blast. Is it November 4th yet?????

One year ago...

2008-09-26T08:33:00.002-05:00

I was completely stressed finishing my degree. Every moment not spent teaching or planning or correcting was spent working on my alt plan thesis or worrying about working on it. I spent my nights with my lap filled with stacks of articles, my weekends at the library writing in silence, my prep hour at school working on my bibliography. I cried rather frequently. It was no small feat. But you know what? I finished it. In time. Rather successfully. People have actually read it. A year later (well, last week, so almost a year), I finally read it. My dearest advisor told me not to read it. To enjoy the pretty cover, lavish the fact that there's a book with my name on it on my shelf, brag from time to time, but never read it. I will find mistakes and obsess over them, he said. But because (like everyone) I wrote it out of order, I'd never read it in sequence. So I did. It wasn't that difficult to read (unlike my scientist husband's, which I claim to have read, but have really only looked at the pretty pictures), and I relearned the things I had buried deep in my brain, hoping never to have to see again. Wow, I thought. Look what I can do! (anybody? anybody?)

But the point is not to brag. Okay, maybe it is a little bit. But my point is this: here is something I HAD to do to finish my degree. Like all the other schoolwork in my 20 years of school (yes, I'm counting kindergarten :-)), I did it as best I could and on time. Because I had to. For me, schoolwork has always been a "have to". It wasn't an option. It always took precedence. So why, now that I'm done with school (at least for awhile...you never know what the future holds), do I fail to follow through with other goals that should be equally important? Most currently: weight loss. Yes, I'm losing weight. This week was even a good week (in comparison). But after 6 months of trying, I'm no where near my goal. I know slow weight loss is good weight loss, but I still fail to work out every day, fail to eat well at every chance I have. If I had homework every day, I'd do it.

I also neglect my babies, my doggies. They are at doggie daycare right now. Whereas this is a luxury we can treat them to once or twice a week, we do it because we don't achieve our goals with them. We don't walk them every day. They need the exercise a day of playing affords them. Dog park visits should be more frequent. Another goal I fail to meet.

My house is not clean. Unopened mail is strewn across our dining room table. The glass cooktop needs a good scrub. The floor hasn't been mopped in a month. I'm sure many canisters of dog hair would be sucked up by the vacuum. Dusting is the bane of my existence, so more likely than not, I caused my own illness this past week. Unmet goal #3.

I don't want pity or anything. I have a super-wonderful, absolutely fabulous, no complaints kind of life. There are many things I do accomplish. But things like my own health, the health of my family (yes, my dogs are my family), and the cleanliness of my house should all be as high priority as homework once was, yes? Yes. So why the resistance? Where does this complete lack of motivation come from? I was always obsessed with getting good grades, so maybe someone needs to grade my life every week. Any takers?

How about you? What sorts of things do you leave undone? Do you regret it?

Omnivore's Meme

2008-09-23T21:40:00.004-05:00

Dearest Angie, upon noticing I haven't posted in nearly 3 weeks (where have I been?...school), has tagged me for the Omnivore Meme. Being sick and laid up (the school germs have caught up with me), I will now complete it and tag some others.

This Omnivore 100 meme from Omnivore Herbivore Carnivore, in turn via Andrew at Very Good Taste.

How It All Works:
1) Copy the list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out (or italicize) any items that you would never consider eating

The 100

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (been looking at Vietnamese places recently)
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted Cream Tea (nearly every day in England and would swim across the Atlantic to enjoy again)
38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (I only drink vodka martinis, but dirty is my favorite way to have them)
58. Beer above 8% ABV (no idea, but I've had mucho beer)
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang Souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom Yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. 3 Michelin Star Tasting Menu (looked into it in NYC, but didn't do it)
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

I'm surprised at the number I have tried, but there are many other things I'd like to try. I didn't cross out any, as I am not opposed to trying anything (even the cigar, though I am a strict non-smoker, because my dad smoked cigars and the smell alone is enough to make me long for him).

I tag Leslie (as she hasn't posted in a year), Heather (to keep her blog going), and Jen (because she has spent several months in Thailand and has therefore probably tried many things the rest of us haven't).

I'll try to post more, Angie. Thanks for keeping me in check :-).

Only in 2008

2008-09-05T18:25:00.002-05:00

I am truly amazed by the sudden and remarkable onslaught of a viral email that turns out to be REAL.

Only in an election in 2008 would we be privy to the instant (and rather private) information in this email. I opposed Sarah Palin's VP nomination from the moment it was released last Friday (ask my best friend, my husband, or my mother, the three people I ranted to within 15 minutes of the announcement), but having read this declaration (for no matter what this woman claims, I think she wanted people to see this or she wouldn't have been so thorough), I dislike her (and McCain for choosing her) even more.

God help us all if the Dems lose this election. 62 days to go.

Connected

2008-08-28T07:40:00.002-05:00

If you haven't read my blog from yesterday, do so first. I'll wait. Go on.

Okay. My mom doesn't read my blog. I think she's heard me mention it, but I don't think she knows what a blog is. Needless to say, she hadn't read my latest post. Last night, however, she sent the email below to some friends and family. Am I my mother's daughter or what?

"I have watched every moment of the Democratic National Convention. Never before have I been so moved. When I was 12 or 13, I watched because my daddy watched when Nixon and Kennedy squared off. I also watched my daddy cry when we lost our Camelot president fall. This election has brought to my mind the incredible history that people of my generation have been so privileged, and so sorry, to have experienced. Brutal killings of our heroes. Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and, yes, John Lennon. The incredible losses of 9/11. Needless deaths of our people who offered us hope.The immense losses of our boys in Viet Nam. This year's presidential election offers a scenario that I truly never believed would happen in my lifetime. A woman with a chance to be president of the greatest nation in the world! An African-American man poised to be voted the leader of a country which once, not so long ago, didn't find him worthy to eat in their diner or drink from their fountain.

I have actually heard, out of the mouths of people I thought I knew, that their problem with Barrack Obama is his name! Are you kidding me? Guess what? His middle name is Hussein. That's not his fault, people. And he is what we need. A man with a history of what it's like to be needy in America.He now has way more than the American dream...I'm pretty sure his girls won't want for much, but I'll bet that they take nothing for granted."

Overflowing, overwhelming, overdoing

2008-08-27T14:15:00.002-05:00

I cried four times yesterday. That lurching in my stomach, that tightness in my chest, that sting in my eyes. I'm feeling it now. I can literally cry on cue. Am I heartbroken? Heavens, no; my husband is more wonderful than ever. Am I stressed to be starting the new school year? Of course, but not enough to make me cry. Then, what, Miss My Life is Perfect, is troubling you so?

More than ever before, I am plagued by feelings of unease as we go deeper into this crazy thing we call election year. I know! You were all so worried about me, reading that first paragraph. And whereas some may think, "oh, that. don't be so dramatic", others of you are right here with me, literally praying to God every night for the Democrats to take back what is ours. I have been watching the major speeches of the DNC this week, and the more passion I see, the more I believe it might actually happen. However, this is America. Land of the nothing comes free and the home of the rich, white oligarchs. My cynicism is battling with my hopefulness. My head v. my heart. When someone ticks out on a list all of the terrible things that have happened/are happening under Republican rule (like Hill did last night in her AWESOME speech!), I literally get scared. I said to Pat after the speech last night, "Oh, no. What ever will we do if Obama loses???" He is a mellow and practical fellow and responded, "The same thing we've done for the last eight years: cope."

All the while in my car I'm listening to MPR and they have extensive coverage and feature stories of all things election. I am actually volunteering with a political group. We watch more CNN at home than ever before (unless the Twins are on). I feel like I am TOO informed for my own good. In the past, I have tended to just vote my ticket on one side. But the older I get, the more I understand about this crazy-ass world, the more I want to know. The more I want to be involved. And it's driving me insane. It's nearly all I think about.

I am scared for my own faith in the nation I love. What if people would rather have four more years of this hell than (dare I go here), have a black president? I don't know how I'll "cope".

Watching the footage of the DNC is what makes me renewed in my faith that democrats should rule, always, without doubt. In the crowd, you see all races, all genders, all ages. People raising flags for unions, for gay rights, for everyone and everything. You WILL NOT see that at the RNC. We are the people. The real people. The representation of all groups. There are rich democrats, Catholic democrats. And, I'm not a total closed-minded idiot; I know there are decent Republicans. I know there are diverse Republicans. But if they don't pass any policies to prove it, then I can't get on board with it.

Sigh. Double sigh. Pray for our country. And for heaven's sake, VOTE!

BWCA

2008-08-19T08:45:00.013-05:00

We have just returned [four days ago] from a wonderful camping trip. The ultimate camping trip, as far as I'm concerned (especially considering our many other trips this summer were somewhat "training" for this one). With friends, we spent four days in Northern Minnesota's Boundary Waters Canoe Area. And canoe we did. A lot. And we carried very heavy backpacks over portages. But it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. It was incredibly rewarding to be able to do those things. And it was fun to swim and relax and take it all in. Mostly, it was magical being in such a beautiful place.

A list of some of the wildlife we saw: frogs, crayfish, bald eagles, loons, a coyote drinking from a lake (we were on the lake, so no worries), chipmunks, and many, many bugs.

A list of wildlife we ate: walleye.

A list of wildlife we heard: wolves howling at the full moon (seriously; VERY cool), and I'm certain something rustling in the bushes the third night when I couldn't sleep; the world may never know.

Enjoy the pictures. (Group photo above courtesy of Heather and Travas.)

2 Experiences

2008-08-12T22:55:00.002-05:00

1. I spent last week at a conference in Chicago. I spent seven hours a day in the type of classroom learning we're not supposed to practice: open and pour. The first day was very intimidating, as we were just given dense material and they started going through it. But the more I learned, the more I got sucked in, and really, the more fun I had.

I spent last week learning the basics of the new program at my school: AVID (Achievement Via Individual Determination). I had never heard of the program before my principal mentioned it last April, but it turns out it has been around for over 20 years. High schools all over the US and some other countries practice it with much success. I'm excited to be one of them soon. It is a program to help middle-level students go to college, when they otherwise might not. They must have a GPA of 2.0-3.5, and have a circumstance that might prevent them from going to college (low income, minority, one parent, unsupportive/unavailable parents, first generation, etc.). The program enrolls them in rigorous coursework like honors and AP and helps them get through it and ultimately get to college. Levels upon levels of support and classwork and tutors get them there, and it is harder to explain than just this, but you get the idea. I'm very thrilled about it.

One of the best parts of the week were hearing the testimonials from students who have successfully gone through the program in the Chicago area. They talk about their AVID families. The connections they make with these teachers is supposed to be the best. In September 2009, I'll be one of those teachers. This fall, I'll be interviewing 8th-graders for admittance into my class for the next year. One student, Desiree, shared her story with me: her dad had split, and her mom was always either working or out with someone. She has no support from home. She told me she's been in AVID for 3 years, and her mom doesn't even know what it is. She was an amazingly articulate young lady who shared her story very openly. I asked her what advice she would give to me, a new AVID teacher. She said to be patient and understanding. These are huge demands to place on a high school teacher with 150 students to keep track of. But, ultimately, she's right. And it's the skill I lack the most in my teaching: patience. I always try to be understanding, but I usually rely on the student to come talk to me. I need to engage all of my students beyond just teaching them public speaking. I'm excited to be going back to school in a few weeks. I want to use everything these students taught me. I asked Desiree what she'd be doing in the fall. She's going to be attending SMSU in Marshall and majoring in Communications. When I left, she gave me a hug (and we had only spent 20 minutes together). She said hugs were really important in her AVID family.

(BONUS: Outside of classes, I befriended two of my colleagues. I've worked with them both for years, but we'd never had the opportunity to really talk and get to know each other. I'm very excited for this as well, because after Molly left (tear), I really didn't have any friends, and spent a lot of time last year feeling sorry for myself. So yay for new friends!)

2. I have officially taken action. I wrote on my last blog entry that I was volunteering with the political group to whom we donate money each year. I followed through with that last night. I spent over two hours on the phone calling people in support of a candidate for the State House of Representatives. It was really fun. Okay, not like jetskiing fun, but doing something good and discussing important things with other people fun. It was cool to see how the dialing computer system works (hence the delay when surveyors, telemarketers, etc. call you). And I was actually very surprised at the number of people who were willing to talk to me. More than not. Some people had way too much to say, and I had to keep myself from laughing a couple of times. One time I laughed out loud, and she appreciated it. After listening to the woman rant and rave for about five minutes:

Me: Well, Norma, you really seem to have the kind of conviction in your beliefs we value in our voters. [Blah, blah, blah, statistics about the candidate that are relevant to her rants.] I hope as you make your decision for the vote this fall, I hope you consider [candidate].

Her: Hmmmm. [Says candidate's name.] I remember every time I talk to someone in support of a candidate, and I have voo-doo dolls for them. What did you say your name was, dear?

Me: Emily.

Her: Well, Emily, I will remember you. If I vote for [candidate] and he ends up stinking, I am going stick your doll with pins.

Me: [laughing uncontrollably]

Her: [starts laughing, too]

Me: Well, Norma, if I am in pain in November and December, I will remember you. I really appreciate your taking the time to talk with me tonight.

Her: No, thank YOU. Most people would've hung up on a crazy old lady like me.

Me: I'd never do that.

Her: Well, I'm glad.

Me: You have a nice night.

Her: Okay, bye. [click.]

GOOD TIMES!!! Another guy spent about ten minutes telling me why we should only vote for politicians with the same moral and religious values as our own. I wanted to hang up with him, if only to get my call count up (he was wasting my time!), but I was compelled. Plus, it is my job to keep the candidate I'm supporting in a good light. And since I'd already said who I was calling to support, I couldn't hang up. What if in November all he remembered about the name when he saw it on the ballot is that someone from his campaign hung up on him? Nope. Had to listen.

Overall, we had a good night. We made over 1,000 calls, and 43% of them were in support of our candidate, 53% were undecided and only 4% were for his opponent. (We called people with a history of spotty voting, declared independents, and consistent split tickets. It's amazing, apparently, what you can get from voter registration.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weekend, we head to the BWCA for four days. I've never been and am rather nervous, but I am more excited than anything. One friend had this to say, "I've never felt closer to God than I do when I'm in the Boundary Waters." Well, that's something to look forward to. I shall report next week. Hugs, friends.

27 Random Comments

2008-07-29T11:15:00.003-05:00

1. On another blog on which this one is linked, I noticed I hadn't blogged in over two weeks. Ouch.
2. I bought a new sewing machine. I was sick of wrestling with my grandmother's and decided she'd rather I be sewing often and with ease than using her old machine. I will be attempting to finish my dog bed project this week.
3. We are taking our dogs camping for the first time this week. I am worried it will be a veritable symphony of barking, whining, and growling at every little noise throughout the night. Will they annoy me to a point of not enjoying myself? Stay tuned.
4. Shopping for new clothes is the most fun part of losing weight.
5. I bought said new clothes for my business trip next week. (I like to call it that, because it makes it sound way more professional than teacher training.) Out of 36 people going, I somehow wound up as the only person without a roommate (someone, I think, requested to be alone). Is it weird that this makes me really sad instead of happy? By the by, here is the hotel we're staying at. Hello???? What budget cuts? This IS the hotel where the conference is being held, but sheesh.
6. I should be working out right now, but I am blogging instead.
7. I have been sleeping way later than I should be.
8. Last night we rearranged the furniture in our living room to accommodate the new armoire I bought on craigslist. We are getting rid of our old corner entertainment unit and our big ugly coffee table, if anyone is interested.
9. It's a long way to 27.
10. I have signed up to volunteer with a political organization. I have donated money for a couple of years, but this time, when they called me, I felt compelled to say yes. Do I want to call people and knock on people's doors? No. But I am going to. Because I am sick to death of our current government and I need to do something other than complain and write checks.
11. I have also looked into volunteering at the Veterans' Home, so near my house. I have the coordinator's phone number. I am wary of making a commitment and then regretting it. That is certainly not the volunteer spirit. Maybe in September, when I am back in the swing? I just feel like such a slug.
12. Did you know fences are expensive? We are getting a new fence in our backyard, and the bids we've gotten are WAY more than I expected. I could buy LOTS of new clothes for these prices. Apparently cedar and nails have gone up in price, just like the rest of everything we buy.
13. There are four men in my backyard right now. They are cutting down trees. We have two huge black walnut trees and one ugly pine tree. One of the walnuts (the one threatening to crush our house) and the pine are being taken away. We will miss the shade, but will enjoy both the space and the ability to sit on our patio without a) sap and b) walnuts falling on our heads.
14. I finally read Wicked. Wow. I had no idea how great this book is. I hadn't even heard of it until the musical (of course). Now, the musical is coming back to Minneapolis. I need to go. The book is so much more than just a back story to the Wizard of Oz; it is excellent commentary on politics and love and family and the nature of good and evil. Worth the read. Now I want to read more of Gregory Maguire's books.
15. I also read my first Meg Wolitzer. Her latest, not even on that list, is The Ten-Year Nap. I am bookclubbing about it in less than two weeks, so I won't give a complete rundown, but I have to say: eh.
16. I love chocolate.
17. I miss chocolate.
18. I'm lamely trying to get to 27.
19. I have wonderful friends.
20. I have the best husband in the world.
21. My family loves me.
22. I'm going to paint the living room this week.
23. It will be a subtle stone, with one ostentatious orange accent wall.
24. I'm hoping it will draw out the crown-molding.
25. The weather is very humid, causing me to shy away from the bike ride I had planned. Instead, I will treadmill indoors where it is a cool 76.
26. I shall watch Friends, Season 5 whilst I treadmill.
27. Ta-da! I did it. Why 27? I turned 27 years old on Saturday. It was easier than 26. As long as I still get carded for buying booze (which I do), I'll feel young. And despite my making a stink about getting older, I know that I am still young. Plenty of time to do all the fun things I want to do. Like get highlights, and have lunch with my husband, and get a massage, and go to parties, and get presents, and go bowling (all the things I did to celebrate my birthday). Happy birthday to Anne, whose birthday was yesterday, and to Angie, whose birthday is this Sunday. Kisses.

"Don't you live all the way downtown?"

2008-07-10T12:36:00.003-05:00

Alec: I live right near here.
Carrie: Don't you live all the way downtown?
Alec: That is near.

Or something strikingly similar. (I have loaned my SATC collection to Kristin, so I can't watch the episode to verify.) One of thousands of lines from so many tv shows and movies taking place in New York City for which I had no frame of reference. But now, after annoying the hell out of my husband and friends by referencing so many said shows and movies (carriage ride in Central Park= Carrie and Big did this!; Impressionist rooms at the Met= This is where the Thomas Crown Affair took place!, etc, etc), I feel like I have captured a glimpse of that surprisingly massive and intimidating place.

Way back in December, some friends started seriously tossing the idea of a trip to NYC around. We had talked about it previously as a place we could all enjoy going together. This year, the conversation became serious for two reasons (and they may actually be equal): 1. our friend Mike was going to be living there for 3 months as a summer associate at some big, fancy law firm; 2. both Yankee and Shea stadiums are having their last hurrah this season. (My husband and my friends' husbands are huge baseball fans, so yes, that's enough to get us out there.) After many, many planning emails, we found ourselves together in a Midtown hotel on Friday, June 20th.

We really had an excellent time with many experiences, but it still felt like four days of trying to figure out what New York was all about. Friday when half of us went to a Broadway show, the other half went to the Village to hang out. When Patrick and I had a "date night" in/near Central Park, the others went to Coney Island. We went to ballgames in two burroughs, had dinner near Harlem, lunch in Little Italy, went shopping in Chinatown, walked Downtown and across the Brooklyn Bridge, and went to as many tourist (but WAY cool) locations as we could handle. Yet, there was so much we didn't do.

New York is absolutely immense. Being on top of the Empire State Building and looking down in every direction at building after building is crazy. But there's also water in every direction. I can't imagine there's any other place like it in the world. I can't wait to go back.

This is just a small glimpse. To see a more thorough depiction, click here. Disclaimer: my husband took these pictures, not me. I always give credit where credit is due. Enjoy!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, and go.

2008-07-07T08:48:00.002-05:00

This is not my New York post. One might still expect a New York Post. Maybe even today. Indeed I have many things to say about New York; it was a great trip. But my head is a spinning, throbbing whirlwind of thought and experience now. Order is lost. I am sitting on my couch in my house alone with nothing to do for the first time in many, many days. And I'm not even supposed to be alone with nothing to do. But alas, I am. Okay, there are things I could do: unpack, do laundry, blog about New York, take the dogs to the park, finish my book club book (probably next on my list after this), take some ibuprofen for this headache, plan my meals, go grocery shopping, clean the bathroom (isn't there always something to clean?), figure out how to get my sewing machine working again so I can finish the dog beds I've been working on for two months, weed my haphazard garden, rake the backyard of walnuts and twigs; so, so much I could do. Frankly, I don't feel like doing any of it.

We left for New York on June 19th. We have not been alone since. When we returned from the East, family had already flown in for the big reunion extravaganza. Plans with them every day leading up to said extravaganza. To the homestead for partying and pictures and tree planting and hayriding and all the other things that make an extravaganza an extravaganza. Home on our one-year wedding anniversary, but not alone. Family needing a place to stay lives on our floor until we left last Thursday to camp for the holiday. Last night, on our way home from camping, to my hometown to see my mom and pick up my sister and her husband. Houseguests once again before they fly back South, their migrations quite shorter than birds. But finally MY houseguests. We have played hosts to my husband's family more times than I can count, but finally someone of my blood needing, nay wanting, to use our guest room. My sister and I were going to spend time together for the only time this year. I visited her in March, and that will likely be the next time I see her as well. They are not coming home for Christmas. This was their one trip. They are not in my guest room.

A miscommunication results in them not coming home with us. Hopefully, I will still see her today. Then, it is only one more week until we leave again, this time for a family reunion in South Dakota. The weekend of my birthday free, then all of August is booked. Literally. 1-3: camping; 3-8: work training; 12: book club; 14-17: BWCA; 22-24: fishing weekend with some girls; 25: back to work. WHERE DID MY SUMMER GO? Where are my lazy days doing nothing? Here, today, in my lap, unwanted and with headache.

Next year, if you ask me, "So, what are you doing this summer?" and I reply anything but, "Oh, not much" please slap me.

Coming Soon

2008-07-01T23:40:00.002-05:00

Feature attractions coming soon to this blog:

1. Pictures and commentary from our trip to the Big Apple starring Emily, Patrick, Anne, Josh, Val, Mike, Heather, and Travas!

2. Thoughts (and pictures) on love and family starring the entire in-law clan!

3. Comments from viewers wondering why I don't blog more often when I am not working. (I wonder the same thing, frankly, as I know I am very busy, but so is Molly and she blogs on each of her many blogs many times a week. She, however, is SuperWoman, and I, most evidently, am not.)

Cheers, bloggers.

Summer vacation so far...

2008-06-18T15:54:00.013-05:00

Brief highlights in pictures. I have had a great summer so far. At the farm, our niece's graduation party, at the zoo (notice the brand new Aveda Butterfly Garden and Russia's Grizzly Coast...both worth the trip), Jen's oldest son Lucas playing t-ball and his little brother (my godson) Colin being his usual adorable self. I've done a lot of fun things I don't have pictures of, but I've been neglecting my blog, so I thought some pictures could make up for it :-).

Sorry to put so many up at one time. Hope you enjoyed them (if you looked at them all).

Milestones

2008-06-09T16:30:00.002-05:00

I don't remember the day I fell in love with my husband. I remember the instant, what he did that made me realize I was in love with him, but I don't remember the day otherwise. Forrest Gump said, "You know it's funny what a young man recollects? 'Cause I don't remember bein' born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world." Like most people, I remember the dates of important things: first dates, anniversaries of certain things, the day I got my dog (December 30, 2005), the day I got my second dog (September 16, 2007), my wedding day, etc. ad nauseum. This doesn't (and shouldn't) surprise most people.

I am shocked, however, at my ability to remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when gas prices hit new highs. I remember the exact moment I first saw gas over $2, then $3, and today, $4. I was a first-year teacher in the spring of 2004 when it hit $2. I was driving home from school on a beautiful sunny afternoon, and the gas station across the street said $2.04; it had said $1.97 before school. I had just moved to the "big city" in the summer of 2005 to take a new teaching job when it hit $3. Patrick and I had been watching the prices steadily rise, and there was a gas station about a block from my new apartment. I had said, "No way will it hit $3." It did one night on my way home from a shift as a waitress at Grizzly's. It has hovered between those two and slighly above for three years now. Now today, my first day of summer vacation, a tenured teacher with a renewed license and everything, will be forever remembered as the day gas hit $4. I had plans with two of my sisters in law to shop for reunion t-shirts and have lunch. En route to the shirt store (only 3 miles away) I saw $3.99 (yikes! I thought), $3.89 (oh, good, some sensibility), and then $4.09 (Holy Shit! What happened to 3.89?). The next two gas stations I saw were also 4.09. (This is the city; I did indeed pass five gas stations in only three miles.)

It's sad. I don't understand it, but I don't need to. It's a reality that none of us can escape. Even if you don't drive, you pay for it in everything else. One of my goals for the summer is not to drive as often. I will drive to the dog park (because walking the dogs to get there is tooooo hard); I will drive to the grocery store (because a backpack only holds so much); I will drive when I need not to be sweaty from biking. And I suppose I'll drive when something is just too far to peddle to, but I don't intend on there being too many of these. This will include more one-stop shopping, planning in advance, and general motivation. I am up to the challenge. Are you?

:-)/:-(

2008-05-30T08:19:00.004-05:00

(Yes, I just used emoticons as my title. Despite my English teacher status, I have a peculiar fondness for those punctuated emotional expressions. How ever did we convey our feelings before their brilliant creation?)

:-)
Students who impress me, singing in the hallway with fellow teachers, the much anticipated movie version of SATC, enjoying it with friends after dinner, five days of school left, students turning in extra credit the day it is due to bring their grades up to passing, fresh flowers, cool rains, great sex, joining the HRC, playing DDR instead of treadmilling, no papers to grade, cranberry-orange scones, flip-flop Friday, dinners at the table with my husband every night this week, the conversations we have during and after, Bed Bath & Beyond gift certificates spent on kitchen luxuries (do you have a mandoline slicer?), browsing the racks at Dick's sporting goods just for fun, stopping at Target to buy a 3 lb. bag of gummy bears, loving the little moments together that make life fabulous.

:-(
Students who annoy me, the start of the hurricane season, a failed recipe*, forgetting an appointment, a plateau in my weight loss, 12 weeks until school starts, hair that is still wet two and a half hours after my shower, Lisa going to the finale in Top Chef, the inevitable end of Hillary's campaign, missing faraway friends, tornadoes, car accidents, high gas prices, and all the other depressing news stories that make me feel lucky to be alive and well.

*Quick story about failed recipe: A while back I bought some swordfish. Granted it was frozen, but it was still a little spendy. I thawed it and planned Wednesday's meal around it: Mango salsa cous cous, caesar salad, season the fish with lemon juice, olive oil, a variety of spices. The cous cous was yummy ummy, but then I bit into my fish. Hmmm. Perhaps it was just that bite, or just my fish. "Have you tried your fish yet, dear?" "No [takes a bite, makes a face]. Have you?" We struggle as to who will say it first. Since I cooked it, I better say it, "It's not good." "No, it's not." "Gross, in fact." "Fishy." "Chewy." "Yuck." I tell my husband I feel bad (I always feel bad when I try something new and he doesn't like it, but this time it was a disaster). He says, "It's not your fault. It's the fish. Stupid swordfish. Maybe it ate some bad clams." Maybe you had to be there, but I laughed enough to make myself tear up. We throw it away, the stupid swordfish, and make sandwiches instead. Him: turkey and cheddar; me: peanut butter and grape jelly. Then I read an article saying mercury levels in swordfish are ridiculous and to avoid it altogether. I guess we dodged a bullet there:-)

Happy Summer.

Bullets

2008-05-21T11:54:00.000-05:00

They say “Don’t sweat the small stuff” (and by “they” I, of course, mean that one author who wrote that one book, stealing the concept from standard use). Today, however, I am going insane with the small stuff. We have officially reached the countdown to days left of school (officially, because you can use only your fingers to count them), and senior slide has become everyone slide. Fellow teachers included (this does NOT exclude me, obviously, as I am blogging instead of working). I allow the laziness, stupidity, ambivalence, apathy of others to annoy me to the point of headache.

This is not always the case. Sometimes I am loosey-goosey, easy-going, don’t-let-anyone-rain-on-my-parade content and happy. Today is not one of those days. Today, I want to strangle people. But I won’t.

Here’s the skinny on the irritation: we are using the laptop carts in two of my classes today, equaling four of the five periods I teach. Courtesy has become bringing the laptop cart to the next person on the list. My colleague neglected to do this, AND had the wrong laptops on the wrong cart. But to him I say, “that’s okay; thanks!” when what I want to say is, “how hard is it to follow the directions!?!?!?!”. My students then do the same thing. Five minutes before the end of the class period I yell, “When you put your computer away, make sure it’s on the correct cart, in the correct slot, and plugged in!” at least 3 times. Then they don’t. NEVER have I had the carts and had them put away perfectly. Match the numbers, plug it in. To them I say, “How hard is this? A kindergartner could do it!!!”, and thus, they now probably do it just to annoy me. And you know what? It works.

#########################

Instead, looking forward to tonight. After school, a quick department meeting, and then my literary arts magazine students are coming in for our end-of-the-year party. We are snacking and watching a literary movie (we are voting between Finding Forrester, Dead Poets Society, With Honors, and another one I can’t remember). I baked cupcakes. They are darlings.

Then, to Suzanne’s for Book Club Reborn, Part II. We read Dubliners by James Joyce, and it was quite good. I look forward not only to discussing good literature with good friends, but also to dining, laughing, gossiping, and the like. Friends are God’s gift to stressed people.

The Gospel of Consumption

2008-05-19T07:35:00.004-05:00

I stole this from Molly's blog. It's long, but good, so make sure you have time to read it. The comments are also insightful. Like this link that one posted; driving 55 mph on 35 might get me honked at, but it's something to consider.

Really, every time I read or hear about some great effort of change, I feel lazy, responsible, guilty, so so sad. But I try to make some small changes; step by step I'm trying to be a better citizen (one commenter on the article notes we are no longer referred to as "citizens" but instead as "consumers"). After I read Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle last year, I wanted to do everything possible to buy only local and organic. That lasted about a week. The only thing I regularly buy organic now is milk, and even that is because it tastes better. On this website, they say though, that even if everyone ate only one meal a week consisting of all local foods, it would make a tremendous difference. Baby steps.

Oh, and this, found also on Molly's blog (she is an excellent finder of cool things), will leave you open-mouthed with wonder, but thoroughly amused and educated (sound required, so don't watch it at work).

2 down; 48 and a district to go...

2008-05-16T07:13:00.002-05:00

I cried this morning on my way to work listening to the live coverage of the verdict being read to the supporters waiting on the courthouse steps. Goosebumps and happiness. Progress.

List::Content

2008-05-14T08:43:00.002-05:00

1. May 14 is the day the average temp. in MN reaches 70; a shift
2. Dinner with fellow speech coaches to celebrate our season
3. Achieving job security in the form of tenure
4. Jeans that can be pulled off without unbuttoning
5. New sundresses (and sandals and earrings to match)
6. More time with friends
7. More time with husband
8. More time with dogs
9. Grilling fresh vegetables
10. Making salad dressing from scratch and getting compliments
11. Getting up in time to make coffee; perpetual exhaustion wanes
12. A return to the Minnehaha dog park, mud and all
13. Season finales of favorite shows (though it seems too soon)
14. Beating Angie at Scrabble (high plays: 68, 45, 36, 32)
15. Watching tulips bloom in my garden
16. Book clubs (currently: The Dubliners, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek)
17. 15 days of school left (not counting today)
18. National Ride Your Bike to Work Day (not participating myself for obvious reasons)
19. Hotel booked for NYC
20. Successes of friends
21. Weekends "up North" with friends
22. Stimulating the economy at REI
23. Love

Cheers, friends.

Dallas, Arlington, Fort Worth: One big city

2008-05-02T22:38:00.016-05:00

Last weekend I took my personal days and flew to Texas for a weekend of fun in the south. My best friend Jen lives there now, so I guess it is the first of many trips. It was very, very fun. Enjoy the highlights in pictures: Fort Worth Botanical Gardens, JFK assassination highlights in Dallas (morbid or historical: you decide), Dallas Farmers' Market (best line of the weekend: "free Mexican with every purchase"), Twins/Rangers games at The Ballpark (both Friday and Saturday nights; Saturday, I got Bert Blyleven and Dick Bremer's autographs on my "Circle-Me-Bert" sign), Cowboys (the bar where I rode a mechanical bull), the Fort Worth Stockyards (and the cheesy, yet amazing, restaurant where I had a real Texas steak), Jen's new puppy Thug (yes, that's really his name), and the Twins boarding their plane home one gate away from mine (notice Mauer and Morneau, looking just as good out of their unis). I really needed the vacation, and this one was amazing. (After posting, I realized vertical pictures are horizontal. I changed those on the computer, but it didn't transfer. It took me over an hour to post them the way they are, so I'm not going to take the time to figure out how to fix it. Turn your head. Deal :-).)

Good News!

2008-04-21T12:00:00.003-05:00

1. State speech was this past Saturday. I had one student take 3rd place in Extemporaneous Speaking, and one take 11th place in Great Speeches. This is very exciting for us, as it's our highest finish yet (we are a young school, after all :-)). I'm very proud, and it couldn't have happened to a better student.

2. Last week, our literary arts magazine debuted its third issue (the first one under my supervision). Because our budget was cut, we gave free copies only to the authors/artists in the magazine, the communication and arts teachers, and the administration (including the superintendent and school board...gotta get that funding back :-)). The rest we are selling for $1 (it cost .84 to print each one). In only 2 days of selling, we have already sold over 50 (and we only printed 125!). We are very pleased. We will be selling them during the intermissions of the play this weekend as well, so we hope to sell out.

3. Because of my affiliation with speech and lit mag, and because earlier this year I attempted (unsuccessfully) to get a Poetry Out Loud! competition going at our school, I have become known as the "poetry person" at school. When a rep from Barnes and Noble came to school a couple of weeks ago to talk about a poetry contest they were having, the principal sent her right to me. They are of course celebrating National Poetry Month (April...what are YOU doing to celebrate today?), and are having a big poetry night. WELL, out of nearly 300 submissions, one of our five entries won! And another got honorable mention! They get to read them aloud next week with the poet who judged them. Very cool.

I'm so proud of my students today. You don't get this feeling from many jobs :-).

Click here

2008-04-18T07:23:00.001-05:00

You need sound activated (for those of you who read my blog at work):

www.notonthetest.com

For Heather

2008-04-17T13:17:00.003-05:00

From the rooftops we will yell: Heather passed the Bar!!!!!

An offical lawyer, with a degree, a license, and a job. Three years well-spent, my friend. We (and by we, I mean everyone) are SOOOO proud of you. Coffee and cake at Starbucks tonight in celebration.

Much love.

Scale of indecision

2008-04-17T07:45:00.002-05:00

You know how I'm trying to decide one way or the other about when to tell the authorities I'm not going to run speech next year? Well, one minute I'm decided, the next, I'm again flipped. I hate it. I had some disappointing and confusing news (someone younger and less experienced than me is going to be our department head next year; not that I want to be the head, but it's a little weird) that makes me want to wait as long as possible. Purposely slight them. But then one of my speechers sends me a picture of how cute and wonderful they all are, and I am back to wanting to do what's best for them. I mean...look at these faces...

Master Conspiracy Assessment

2008-04-15T09:19:00.003-05:00

You may or may not remember that my APT (alternate plan thesis, as I lovingly call it) was a condemnation of the Bush Administration's communication of the "results" of the education plan he rhetorically dubbed No Child Left Behind back in 2001 before he ruined our country. One of the main themes of this "law" (okay, so it IS a real law, but it's such a joke, the quotation marks are valid) is testing. Testing in all grade levels except K and 12. Testing four subject areas only (reading, writing, math, and new this year, science) in a standardized test by state. A fabulous way to assess our schools and teachers, right? (If you can't read the sarcasm, read this: NO it is NOT a fabulous or even great or good way to assess anything but a student's ability to take standardized tests.)

I digress.

I sit here before a room of twenty-four juniors who are slaving away on their yearly "exam" as I type. Math, for the 11th-graders. In other rooms, reading for 10th and writing for 9th. It is not a timed test; it includes more than just multiple choice. But I watch some of these kids sigh and hem and haw and look around the room thinking, "Is this really this hard? Or am I just stupid?" We try to help them understand how important this test is not only to them, but to our school as well. This, so they will try their very hardest. But the pressure certainly can't help: "Not only do you need to pass this in order to graduate, but our school needs you to do well so we don't lose funding and/or control of our school." No worries, kiddo.

I try to be as positive as possible when I proctor, expressing none of the angst I share with you now. I smile and assure them they can have all the time they need and to PLEASE review your answers. I supply pencils and kleenex and neon orange stickers to seal each portion of the test as they finish it and an escort to the restroom (to ensure test security, of course). But I want to supply them with love and pats on the back and messages that say, "I know you're an artist and that talent will lead you later in life, but right now your ability to divide mixed fractions is what matters. You are important in all of your skills. Be strong and diligent in these menial tasks now, then you can be whomever you want to be later and people will still care!"

It makes me sad. Is there another way to say it?

Victorious

2008-04-10T10:23:00.002-05:00

This picture is a fluke of the most fortunate, hilarious kind. Sometime in the not-so-distant past I donated some money to a democratic PAC who came a knockin' on my door. Real nice girl. We talked for awhile. So, anyway, I received an invitation in the mail to participate in their fundraiser "Bowling for Victory" which was being held at our local lanes. We love to bowl, I thought. So, we put together our team of five (me, Pat, brother and sister-in-law Darin and Carol Ann, and brother Brian), and got out our checkbooks and our mad bowling skills for an afternoon of fun. Little did we know, politicos don't have mad bowling skills. And even bowling not as well as we usually do, we frickin' won the thing. It wasn't a tournament, just highest team score wins, but out of fifty teams, we had the highest score. Because it was a fundraiser, there was of course no cash prize, but it sure made us feel pretty cool to put a used bowling pin with a plaque on our shelf. It shall rotate between our three houses.

Weight; Wait

2008-04-09T09:21:00.002-05:00

Oh, my heart. Oh, my mind. Oh, my butt. Yes, all are relevant. This week has been a whirlwind of emotions I am both plagued by and rejoicing in. One syllable, many meanings: wayt.

Weight: Last week I joined WeightWatchers. I am attending meetings and everything. So far, it is two things, difficult and exciting. I struggle not to eat the ingredients as I cook the meal. I resist the temptation to dive into the bowl of M&M's in the staff lounge. I tick points off in my head through the day, remembering that even a glass of milk is not negligible. Fiber One with skim organic milk=4 points; coffee with 2 tbsp. half and half=1 point...and it's only 9:30 AM. But also, I revel in my self-control. I CAN only eat 3 Girl Scout Samoas (6 points); I don't have to eat a whole row. I am satisfied eating one cup of beef stew (5 points); I don't have to have seconds. Less than a week and I am proud, and I haven't even seen results yet. Ask me in a month if I feel the same, but so far, so good.

Wait: I have decided not to be the head speech coach at my school any more. The reasons are many and I have debated with myself for many months. I am not cut out for managerial tasks, discipline responsibility, and frustrating menial tasks. I coach because I love speech and kids and know how important this activity is. I am demoting myself to assistant coach. Work with the kids, enjoy the kids, teach them well, laugh and rejoice with them. But, no one of importance knows yet. I am waiting. Or not waiting. I am undecided. I am up for tenure this year. If I wait until I'm tenured, I'm assured I won't lose my job because of it. If I tell them now, I give them the opportunity to find the best, which is what the kids deserve. Is this a time to be selfish with a struggling economy? Or the time to be selfless for the kids I adore?

Weight: Because they deserve the best. Last night we had our section tournament. We did amazing, taking 3rd place (with only 23 kids) and are sending 2 to state. BUT (isn't there always a but?) we should be sending 3 to state. One of my students took 3rd place but was disqualified for a rule violation. A rule I enforce. But as a freshman who only kind of remembers all the rules we went over months ago, I feel this was my lack of "with-it-ness"; I should have reiterated ALL the rules before the section tournament. These kids need a GREAT head coach, they have such potential. (Of the 12 in finals, only 1 was a senior; 4 were freshman.) I am only a good head coach. I want better for them, and my heart is heavy knowing I might prevent this from happening intentionally.

Wait: Life, on the upside, outside of speech and my big butt, is fabulous. I have realized recently (or maybe just more every day) how distinctly perfect my husband is. We are, if you'll excuse my bragging, ridiculously happy. Life together every single day is thrilling. I love being married. And so, we wait. This state of being important to each other more than anything or anyone else (like, say, babies), will go on and on. Will there be a bigger house and another dog and okay, babies, in our future? Darn tootin'. But not now. This is too sweet. This is too perfect. We are so blessed.

Opening Day, 2008

2008-03-31T22:13:00.003-05:00

There's something wrong with nearly 7 inches of snow on Opening Day of the baseball season, but we went, we had fun, and the Twinkies won. We're off to a good start. Pictures are rare on my blog, but the snow in the first couple is quite memorable.

(Yes, I changed my template)

2008-03-28T08:33:00.001-05:00

Pretty, huh?

Inspiration

2008-03-28T08:02:00.002-05:00

In the most cliche way possible, I often state I love teaching for those few and sometimes far between moments when I know I am changing someone or helping them in a way that will forever cause them to remember me (isn't that what we all want? to be remembered?).

I have a student now who is touching my heart. They all do in their own way, I suppose, but this one has reached out to me, made me feel wanted/needed/special. A junior girl in my Communication Theory class was in a car accident last June (three days before my wedding, actually; odd to hear stories of people I didn't yet know during the important times of my own life; she was in ICU, I was walking down the aisle...). D. suffered a brain injury that may affect her forever, though they are still unsure. She was hit from the side and the window, being only half rolled down, lodged into the side of her head. Right now she suffers from memory loss, ambient focal disorder (background noise is an impossibility for her), and most upsetting, flashbacks. Twice she has had to get up and leave the room (her best friend is in the class with her and always accompanies her) to go suffer a flashback in the hallway. She feels and sees what she saw that night. Each time she has one, however, she always remembers a little more.

I make accomodations for her: testing alone, late assignments, extra help, whatever she needs. D. says the hardest part of all of it is not just how much her brain has changed, but how aware of it she is. Before her accident, she was a star athlete, straight-A student. She says, "I didn't understand how people needed to study; how people couldn't read faster. Everything was always so easy for me. Now, everything is a struggle." This, perhaps, one of the reasons she's touched me so. I am like that, too: fast reader, eager learner, most everything comes easily. She told me the one thing she's learned from her accident is to be thankful every day, not for being alive, like so many other accident victims, but for the God-given abilities we have and might lose at any time.

D. has been in my class since the end of January, and I have been helping her and getting to know her and listening when she needed someone to talk to. All good. Wednesday, however, she stayed after class. "Mrs. H, I was wondering if you could help me. I want to write about my accident, but I need a reason. Are there any writing contests you know of?" Well, the only one I knew of off-hand was a local poetry contest, but I told her I would look and we'd work on it together. She came in yesterday with timelines, journals, and ideas. I had a list of not just contests I'd found, but many scholarships that would suit her as well. "Scholarships! What a great idea. That would really help me out with all the medical bills we have now." We sat for forty-five minutes just talking about it. She told me everything she remembers and about how an image or a smell or sound can trigger new memories. One: when she went to a Twins' game in September, seeing the Metrodome flashed the images of her descent in the helicopter onto the roof of the ER, as she could see the Dome then. We talked and talked. I told her that everything she just told me could be written down; write everything down, feelings, memories, lessons, reactions, etc. and together we could edit it and make it sing.

It's exciting, being asked to help her with this. D. also warned me when they go to court next year (the accident was indeed the other guy's fault), I might be asked to testify on her behalf, having seen how the accident has affected her. But I am also worried I will let her down. What if she doesn't win any of the contests or scholarships? Our time of course will not be wasted, I think her writing about it will be very therapeutic, but I want her to get something out of it, too. I'll keep you posted on her progress. And if you know of any writing contests or scholarships she might be eligible for, send them my way :-).

So much

2008-03-27T07:31:00.002-05:00

Indeed it is perplexing why I've tapered off of the blogging so strongly in '08. I have lots to say, many jumbled thoughts constantly keeping me up at night. I should blog about teaching, about my husband, about the pups, about my trip to the great state of Arkansas, about my friends, books I've read recently, movies I've been watching, recipes I've tried, but I just lack the motivation right now. I want to be more like my friend Molly, who blogs daily, if not more. Cheers to you, writer.

I will say this: I wish with fury the snow would go ahead and melt (and stop altogether for some in the southern portion of the state). It is darn near April, for heaven's sake. March has been all lion, no lamb. It has four days to make it up to me, but sleet is expected this weekend. Sigh.

Another one for the collection

2008-03-11T15:11:00.002-05:00

Some stories from the classroom are silly; some are hilarious; some are downright laugh your ass off, often at the expense of the kids (for those of you who’ve never heard my cleat story, see below, where I have copied the original email from three years ago). Yesterday, I had another great one to share:

When we have “late start” days, the staff comes at normal time and does random staff development stuff and the kids come two hours later for shortened classes. However, fourth period remains its normal length, which is already ten minutes longer than others, because of the split lunches. So, in my fourth period, when the lesson was over (scheduled for 30 minute class periods), we played Catchphrase. If you’ve never played this game, it’s basically get your team to say the word (or words) you get as fast as you can. I allow gestures, too. So, in a class of mostly rowdy teenage boys, the adorable, yet ditzy cute girl of the group gives the following clues:
“Okay, so girls wear it”
“A bra”
“No, without a bra”
“Swimsuit”
“No…um…it’s white”
“Tank top….Camisole…underwear”
“No, you lick it”
“What?!?! You lick it? And you wear it?”
“Yeah, girls wear it….like in movies”

At this point we’re all laughing, thinking she is of course crazy, or as often happens, reading the word incorrectly. Alas, time runs down and the other team gets the point. So, we ask her, “What was it?” And she says, plain-faced, as if we’re the stupidest people in the world for not guessing it, “Whipped cream.”

No fooling. After much laughter and disgust, we moved on, but that is something she will never live down in that class. Not to mention, there are about 800 other ways to approach that item than sexually. The fact that her brain went there first disturbs me on many levels. But it was damn funny.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Story from three years ago:

So, here I am on a Friday, correcting 2nd drafts of my seniors' compare/contrast papers, while my 8th-graders work silently. I come to the last paper. A softball player who is pleased the season has begun has decided to compare Nike cleats to Adidas cleats. Not the best of topics, but I really don't put much restriction on it. The following are excerpts from her paper VERBATIM. You will soon know why I burst out laughing and simply couldn't tell my 8th-graders why.

"There are many differences between Nike and Adidas. Anything from comfort, support, and durability is important. This is what every girl should know before buying clits. Comfort plays a huge role in clits. You need to make sure they feel fine, because of the work you will be doing in them."

"You need clits to last about two years, because you should be getting a lot of use out of them. All clits get holes worn in them. Mine are on the inner edge, near the front toe."

And finally...

"When it comes down to game time, you might want to think twice about the clits you choose."

Ahhhhh, spelling. It just makes life more fun.

Here I am, there I am, everywhere I am

2008-03-07T11:23:00.000-06:00

So, it has now been over a month since I last posted, and enough people have mentioned it to me that I guess I should at least note that I’m still alive. Barely. But alive nonetheless.

I think I have seasonal affective disorder. At least a mild form. Or I have “ready to kill my speech team” disorder. They’re about the same, right? It’s been a stressful month, either way, hence the Saharan status of my blog.

Some notable moments from the last month:
1. Ash Wednesday. We attended a new church on the recommendation of the pastor who wed us in June, Pastor Steve. We enjoyed the very small church, and they enjoyed us, as over half the congregation came up to us to introduce themselves and welcome us. We went back on a Sunday two weeks later, and people remembered our names. We’re unsure if it’s a right fit, however, as we were not moved by the sermon and are not 100% sure we like the complete openness of it. We’ll see.
2. Valentine’s Day. My darling husband gave me a Ralph Lauren Romance gift set and chocolates. Then we went to dinner at Granite City and Best Buy to purchase Guitar Hero. Then we played GH the rest of the night. We are a simple people. I got him a surprise gift that is not in yet. He reads this, so I can’t say.
3. Floating. I tried the floating tank at the wellness center where I get massaged. It’s also known as a sensory deprivation tank; you can check it out online (just Google floating tank). It’s supposed to be good for depression, aches/pains, insomnia, and just general meditation. I found it to be rather stressful. I’m afraid of the dark, for one thing. I couldn’t get comfortable, as my instinct was to hold my head up. There are 800 lbs of Epsom salts dissolved in the water, so you can’t sink, but my body wouldn’t give into that. The more I tried to relax, the harder it was. Then I sneezed and got some of the water in my mouth. YUCK! I think I might give it another try, but it’s yet to be seen.
4. General speech drama. Crazy lazy speech kids are winning the battle of my heart that has been raging against lovely devoted speech kids. I have had people skipping practice and tournaments, people quitting, and just recently, a drug dealer. Aces. I’m going out of my mind. Enough said.
5. License renewal. I renewed my teaching license. I have completed all requirements of the CEUs and got my new license in the mail, good until 2013. Five years goes really fast.
6. Began planning (officially, finally) trip to NY. The gang is headed to New York City to visit our friend interning out there, as well as to pay homage to the temple of baseball: Yankee stadium. We booked some great deals on airfare, and tried in vain to get tickets to the Yankees. Hopefully, we’ll have some luck in scrounging up some tickets in the coming months. Either way, it’s going to be very fun.
7. Illness. I’m currently battling another cold. This is the third time this year I’ve missed more than a day of work due to illness. It’s driving me nuts. This time it started at the Wild game on Tuesday of this week. It was fun, despite their loss and my spiral into illness. I missed the second day of conferences last night because of it, but that might actually be a perk…
8. Finally, very importantly, Angie. If you don’t know Angie, my Angie, friend for more than 10 years, you should. She’s pretty cool. But without too many details, you should pray for her. Her family is in hard times, as her mom is very sick. She’s been dealing with the news for three weeks now, and a surgery and its recovery period for one. Just pray. It’s the best thing we can do. Thanks.

Other than those things, life has been pretty normal. Perhaps the warmer weather will inspire me to update more. But wait, it’s below zero today. In the weeks to come, when snow has turned to mud and speech season comes to close, I will indeed find more motivation to put theoretical pen to theoretical paper.

Fat//Super

2008-02-06T16:29:00.000-06:00

With Easter being as early as it can be this year, every ritual day that comes with it is also early. Hence Ash Wednesday today. Yesterday, then, was Fat Tuesday: the final day before Lent begins, when people traditionally do lots of all the things they're committing themselves not to do for forty days. Essentially, the last chance to sin as much as possible. I, however, didn't sin out of control. I've decided not to give anything up for lent this year (previous years have included chocolate, french fries, caffeine). Instead, I am committing myself to doing. Do more. Not more stressful things like hosting speech tournaments, but more for myself and the greater good. When I promise myself I will work out every day, I fail. It's easy to let myself down. My commitment during lent, however, always feels like a promise to God. I don't like to let Him (or Her) down. I did have one big glass of wine after caucusing, though. But that's not a sin (nor am I giving up alcohol...I considered it, as it was something I'd not done yet, but then I realized I'd be visiting AR during lent...can one survive a week in Arkansas without booze?).

Yes, after telling people I wasn't going to, I felt drawn to the caucus in the middle school basement three blocks from my house. Yesterday was also Super Tuesday; twenty-four total states held primaries or caucuses last night. I took the MPR online surveys and I watched a video titled "How to Caucus" on YouTube to prepare myself, but it was absolutely nothing like the real thing. I told myself going in that I was going to learn. That was my purpose. I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't offer to help or be a delegate, just learn. Yeah, right. Do I know myself at all? If it weren't for the inconvenient district caucus date (Saturdays=speech tournaments), I would be a delegate. I am easily caught up in things I am learning. Only about a half an hour had gone by before I stood up to include my two cents. On the "how-to" video, this would have been easy, as they showed only 20 people in a room. My precinct (which I now know) had over 200 people caucusing! Which often led to mass confusion. Our chair wasn't the best. But we got things done. And it was fun. Not roller-coaster fun, but ferris wheel fun. I learned. I will go again. I was part of quite the push, as caucus records were not merely broken, but shattered, last night. According to MPR, the highest number of caucus goers in MN in the past was about 80,000 during the Vietnam War. Last night, over 325,000 people participated. That's democracy at work. Awesome.

In the end, Obama won MN...by a lot. There was no vote for senate, but my group decided (in a very roundabout, crazy sort of way) to do our own, just to find out who people support (this may have been where I spoke up). Of our votes, Franken led, followed by Nelson-Pallmeyer, then undecided, then Ciresi. I think this is how it will shake down in the end. Really, I think any of the three men will be better than Norm. My pinkie toe would be better than Norm, but this is not a political blog :-).

Happy Ash Wednesday, if you recognize it. I'm trying a new church tonight to worship. To anticipate salvation. To be forgiven. To be marked with ashes. To combine religion and politics in a blog without being too crazy.

Here we go...

2008-01-26T23:19:00.000-06:00

Another season of speech is two months in (auditions in the final week of November), but our first tournament was just today. Eight weeks in a row of giving up our Saturdays to the siren song of speech. Those who have never experienced a speech tournament will never understand its allure. We had one varsity and one novice speaker break to final rounds, taking 2nd and 6th, respectively. This is a modest achievement, with only 16 students participating (we took 15th out of 22 schools). What excites me, however, is the success of some of my first year students. NONE of my novii went 5, 5, 5. Now, if you don't "speech", you have no idea what this means. It's a good thing. Anyone close to me in the past 2 years has heard me complain endlessly of being a head speech coach. And, indeed, it is a trying experience (especially when you are 6 days away from hosting your own tournament). However, it is the thrill of seeing students achieve their goals this first week of competition. They go into this first tournament with trepidation, not knowing entirely what to expect. We have to explain to them what their scores mean and if they're "good" or not. It is an exciting moment.

I'm sad to give up my Saturdays until March. I'm happy to watch the enthusiasm of my students. I'm often confused and angered at the results of many tournaments. I'm rarely disappointed in the effort my darling kids show weekly. It's a manic depressive sort of activity.

Overdue gushing post

2008-01-17T10:26:00.000-06:00

(I write this while on four different drugs during my prep hour [I have a sinus infection, but told the doctor yesterday "I cannot miss work again", so he gave me nasal spray, antibiotic, decongestant, and recommended ibuprofen for the pain.] It will need revision most likely when I am well.)

I have long considered myself a lover of poems, a writer of poems, a novice scholar of poems. To hear the words read aloud, or be the one reading the words, images, art, is an articulate pleasure. Poetry was my chosen category in high school speech, and it took me to state; beginning my love for this thing we call "oral interpretation". In high school and college, I kept a poetry journal. Random snatches of feeling captured on fine paper in a leatherbound book no one has ever read. Early on, I was obsessed with the intricacies of rhyme and meter. Later, the rage of a bad relationship garnered poems with hard edges and sophmoric angst. I'd like to think they aren't ALL bad, but I wouldn't know for sure, as I am too self-conscious to share them.

I have "taught" poetry to 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and 12th graders in my five years of teaching. Taught meaning followed the laid out curriculum, but also tried with fervor to share my passion. The passion, however, isn't something easily taught. Trying to get small-town high school seniors to understand the difference between Shakespearean and Edwardian sonnets is like pulling teeth when you're in a classroom with a hillside view...in May. I don't think half of them even learned how to say "iambic pentameter", let alone recognize it. But I tried. And isn't that what matters?

I tried this year to organize a Poetry Out Loud competition at school at the prodding of one of my literary magazine students. We posted fliers and made announcements, but only 3 people signed up, not enough to hold the event. Poetry, perhaps, isn't what it used to be.

This felt like a strong relationship to poetry, this writing, studying, teaching, reciting. And perhaps I am flirting with poetry in my life still, writing a poem every now and then when the moment captures me. But if I am flirting with poetry, then my dear friend Molly is engaged to poetry; married, perhaps, when her first book comes out, which I assure you, will be someday soon. Friday night I trekked to the far away town of Fridley to sit on a plastic chair in a room with chipping paint and wide floorboards in a farmhouse-turned-tavern-turned-brothel-turned-hardware store-turned-arts center. (An adequate progression, to be sure.) There, with a beautiful quilt exhibit in the adjacent rooms, Molly read her poetry.

I have read many of Molly's poems, as she shares them on her blog from time to time. I bought her lovely postcard when it was published by Yes Press in October. I knew she was an extremely talented writer. But nothing compares to hearing an author share their own work aloud. It is so raw, so passionate, so pure. Such confidence, such grace.

Molly read second, after an MFA candidate who does have a published book, something that would intimidate me to no end. But despite the other reader's "success", I felt Molly was more real and alive. She brought the audience to both tears and laughter on several occasions. Her father drove over from Wisconsin, two other friends were there as well. Snow fell in light flakes outside the window. It was most simply, quite beautiful. If I were her, I could describe the moment better. She would find more to say. Alas, I am out of words. Just, well done, Molly. Thanks for sharing.

I guess we should think about these things

2008-01-11T10:05:00.000-06:00

On the way home from work yesterday, I heard two stories on MPR that made me think about death. The first was about baseball-themed caskets and urns (read about it here), and the second was about a soldier who had been blogging for five years. He wrote a final blog post to be published if he died. He did, and his final post was published here last week. The story mentioned the end of the very long post, in which he sends love to his wife. After shedding some tears, I thought, "I don't even know if my husband wants a casket or urn. What if he died tomorrow? I certainly wouldn't expect blog entry from him, but it would be nice to know what he wanted."

So last night before bed, we talked about it. Do you want a funeral? To be cremated? You don't want (heaven forbid) a baseball casket, do you? Do you want me to take you off of life support if you're suffering and won't make it? How much life insurance will I get? (I'm kidding about that last one; have to keep it mildly light-hearted.)

My husband, so sweet, kind, understanding, did not hesitate to engage in this conversation with me. We are only 26 (me) and 32 (him), so have no reason to assume we will die any time soon. However, if something were to happen, I know I want to be as informed as possible about any wishes he may have. Just as important is how I want him to handle my death. There are no certainties but death, and you really never know when your time will come.

To my questions, he says, "Well, not to be morbid or anything, but, I'll be dead." Duh, honey. He went on to explain that he would want me to do whatever would provide me the closure I needed. (Completely selfless even in death...is he perfect or what?) So we talked. About what our families traditionally have done, what we might want to do, what would be best both monetarily and environmentally.

Although we are both believers, neither of us are fully aligned with the doctrines of a specific faith. Me baptized and confirmed Lutheran, him Catholic, we choose to worship personally, in our own time, in our own ways. Our Sunday mornings are spent in bed or at the bowling alley (they have an amazing breakfast special). Some religions frown on anything but the traditional act of burial; we do not agree. I have always thought cremation and then burial of my remains in a cemetary plot would be best (it's how my father and both of his parents are interred). I know cemetaries are for the living, and I do find solace in visiting those plots in Southern Minnesota. But where would my husband and I buy a plot? My home town? His? Our current town? I don't want to live forever in Minneapolis, so if he did die tomorrow, I wouldn't want him here. So, maybe no gravestone; no unnecessary expense. Patrick (I hope jokingly) said I should sprinkle him on homeplate at the new Twins stadium. Me: "You want me to get arrested for you? I'll be a mourning widow and you want me to spend it in jail?" Him: "You can just use the life insurance to pay the fine."

Today, I looked up green burial. It seems like the most common sense option. Good for the pocketbook and the environment. Later, I'll ask my husband about this option. Maybe we'll even have living wills drawn up (wouldn't want to be in a coma with my mom clinging to my life and my husband ready to let go). It wasn't depressing to talk about these things, if you can believe it. Most practically, we do plan on being alive for a really long time. But I am a planner. Of course, in an ideal world, we would die together; a car accident or explosion (the gas detector hasn't gone off again recently, in case you're wondering) or some other simple death. We would prefer neither of us should suffer the grief. I suppose kids might change this view, we wouldn't want to orphan them, after all. But for now, we only have each other. I told him we could go like this, wrapped in each other's arms, to Paradise together. In good time, I'm sure we will.

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” --Winston Churchill

Mid-year impressions

2008-01-09T10:11:00.000-06:00

The end of the semester fast approaches, two weeks until it's over. I do not hesitate to express joy at this group of students moving on, nor do I keep my sadness in check either. Love/hate, eh? I really enjoy my 153 students this semester. Some drive me insane, others let me (really, themselves) down more often than I'd like, and still others make me want to quit. Yet, each of them enrich my life daily. Laughter, tears, real conversation, and genuine trust and caring have occurred in this room this semester. I am thinking of these things now because I just sent to copy my course evaluation. This is not required, as it is in college courses, but I have students evaluate both me and the class for my own good humor and learning and improvement. Most realistically, I want honest answers, but I don't hide the fact that I hope my evaluations are on the "good" side. I feel like a better teacher this year. I am finding my place. I embrace the reputation as a "meanie" as well as that of "awesome" (both of which I've heard recently). I like to think I can be both. Some students will always hate my strong expectations; others will always find a way to connect with me (our shared love of broadway, choral experience, the same role in the school play, Sunday's football game [or Monday's...ouch, OSU], gossip, tv shows, movies, books, politics, etc...all enjoyed conversations). I think my students know the "real me". And just as plenty of people in the "real world" don't like me, so too will many of my students. And I'm pretty sure I'm okay with that, so long as they're still learning and respecting me. Some things I've learned this year:

*Laughing at your own mistakes is always worth the slight humiliation.
*Students have strong opinions and should never be silenced (I am very much looking forward to next week's persuasive speeches that offer up topics of all social significance from the war to school rules to the environment to education and media and space exploration [I could go on and on, as I told them no two students could speak the same argument; 153 students=153 different viewpoints]).
*Their feelings should never be taken for granted either. The sadness I see in their eyes, especially those who have talked with me about their issues, makes me proud they continue each day.
*School lunch really isn't that bad.
*Sharing moments of laziness or unpreparedness or apathy with the students brings me to their level. I am human; they need to remember this. I need to remember this sometimes, too.
*This year, I've used the phrase "When I was in high school..." more than ever before. Perhaps it's because I am getting older, and HS does seem ages away. But it's sharing the experiences that make a difference (yesterday: overheard "I don't want to take Earth Science, because I hate the teacher." I begin to intrude, "You shouldn't limit..." meaning to say, "...your classes just because of who's teaching it." But instead I stopped and said, "You shouldn't limit...wait, nevermind. I did the same thing in HS, why should you be any different?" which gleaned a giggle and a conversation about why the teacher can make such a strong difference to the class.)
*Going out of my way for a student feels great; having that student take advantage of it is a knife in the heart; and seeing them succeed because of my help is indescribable.

Okay, I guess I like my job. Here's to second semester. Cheers.

Adios, 2007

2008-01-06T22:11:00.000-06:00

I am lame, so I typed “New Year’s Meme” into google and found this to be the most commonly used yearly assessment. I think I did it a few years ago, before a blog existed, and emailed it en masse. It is a nice reflection. Enjoy.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

Most obviously, I got married (which I fear will define most of the answers in this summary, as it truly what made 2007 the best one ever). Additional, random things: drove to Arkansas (twice), had dinner at Café Maude, went to California, played Wii, various other daily differences.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t even remember my resolutions from last year, so I guess that means I didn’t keep them. This year, I will try to be healthier. I will eat better, work out more, and de-stress more often.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Various acquaintances gave birth (there was something in the water at my job), but no one really close to me. Maybe this year???

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I am affected easily by anyone’s death. I feel the pain of my loved ones and their losses. For that reason, yes. My husband’s uncle died, and he was an amazing man who I wish I knew better. My sister’s dog died (don’t laugh), and it was tragic and unexpected, therefore heart-wrenching. A student at my school was killed in a car accident; this semester, I teach her brother. I had a couple of friends who lost relatives, so sad to see them experience this pain.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just this one, but we did go to Chinatown in San Fran…does that count?

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

More time to enjoy life, which I’m sure I will have, since I am no longer planning a wedding and working on my Master’s degree.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January (date eludes me): my sister moved to Arkansas
May 12: Brendan and Kelly’s wedding
June 29: My own wedding
August 1: the 35W bridge collapse
August 11: Molly and Ryan’s wedding
September 16: Phoebe came into our lives
December 10: End of graduate school

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Completing my Master’s degree; it took 4 1/2 years, and this last one was definitely the most trying. The stress of procrastinating on my capstone project led me to writing an alternate plan paper that turned into a thesis in only three weeks.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Weight loss; cliché though it may be, I even worked with a personal trainer this year, and still managed to blow off going to the gym often enough to not lose weight. Boo.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

In March, I had my tonsils out after years and years of suffering. Pain! Oh, the pain. Not a fun surgery from which to recover. In the end, it was worth it, as I do not get food stuck in my throat any more, nor do I get sick as often.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Tough call, as my husband and I definitely did our part to help the economy this year. We enjoy our Wii and our new TV, as well as the carpet and walls in which they reside. Everything purchased in the name of wedding was great. I’d say our honeymoon trip to California was the best purchase overall, I guess. Definitely a great way to begin our life together.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I celebrated Angie’s decisions this year: being brave and moving to the cities alone is admirable. I never would have come here if it weren’t for my husband. I also think Leslie and Josh deserve praise for being good spouses and moving many states away to make their spouses’ dreams come true.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The president’s. Researching NCLB for my paper made me infinitely more aware of how deceitful that administration is. Obama in ’08!!!

14. Where did most of your money go?

To the wedding and the basement remodel.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The wedding and honeymoon

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

The song we danced our first dance to was Levi Smith’s “I’d Like to Think So”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Definitely happier; I love being married!
b) thinner or fatter? Sadly, fatter
c) richer or poorer? My life is far richer, and I suppose my bank account is more full as well

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Working out, spending time with friends

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Griping; I tend to vent about darn near everything instead of trying to see the bright side. It is a very unhealthy habit.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I spent Christmas Eve and Day at my aunt’s house in Bloomington, the following Saturday was spent celebrating in my husband’s home town.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

I fall more in love with my husband every day. I fell in love with our new dog Phoebe. I fell in love with Ugly Betty (thanks, Angie!). I fell in love with Harney and Sons silk tea bags (thanks, Heather!).

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Grey’s Anatomy tops the list again, as Survivor has gotten predictable. Top Chef and Project Runway are up there.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
.
No, I equally dislike the same people I did last year, as far as I can tell.

24. What was the best book you read?

Oh, goodness. Reading is a passion, of course. So it’s a little difficult to pinpoint a “best.” I really enjoyed Reading Lolita in Tehran. I procured much research for my paper from Save Our Schools. I also read a great memoir (turned prose piece) by a mother and daughter called Comeback.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Without a doubt, the best new music in my life this year is Ingrid Michaelson, brought to me by Angie. Thanks, hon!

26. What did you want and get?

The love of my life’s hand in marriage.

27. What did you want and not get?

A honeymoon to Italy. We were in the planning stages last winter when our furnace went out. Heating our house in the middle of January seemed more important than an Italian honeymoon. So, to California we went, and it was fabulous. Italy will be that much more special in the future.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

It’s hard to remember all the movies I’ve seen. Freshest in my mind would be Juno, which was honest and beautiful and funny all in one. It reminds me of Garden State, which I heart with passion. Harry Potter 5 cannot be forgotten, as it was the best film yet, even though the books continue to be better.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

It was finally my golden birthday, 26 on the 26th, and it wasn’t as special as it was supposed to be. Anne was 28 on the 28th, and we were always going to celebrate together, but then she up and moved to Ohio, so it was not to be. Instead, friends and family gathered at my favorite bowling alley, Memory Lanes, for food and bowling fun. Pretty good times for a Thursday.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

This is sad, but I think the one thing that would have made a greater difference this year is my dad. I am a traditionalist in many ways, and although I loved having my mom walk me down the aisle, I wish my daddy would have been there. After 11 1/2 years without him, it is mostly the big events that stand out. I still think about him and miss him every day, but the pain is pretty strong on days like a wedding.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

If it fits and doesn’t smell, it’s in!

32. What kept you sane?

My husband, no question. He is very supportive in every way.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I fell in love with Ellen Page a little after Juno. She was excellent.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The start of the race for the White House really got me excited to get rid of our current president as fast as possible. The war in Iraq still makes me sad every day.

35. Who did you miss?

I miss my dad, my grandparents, and my friends and family who no longer live near me.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I was fortunate enough to meet many of Molly’s friends this year, fun, fascinating women who I’m pleased to know. With Angie and Lane moving to Minneapolis, I’m sure I’ll get to see more of them soon.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Always remember that God’s plan for my life is better than my own.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

The song we walked down the aisle to was done instrumentally by my husband’s brothers, but the words are wonderful. “Heaven’s Already Here” by Collective Soul:

Wake up to a new morning
Got my babe by my side
Now I won't yield to new warnings
'Cause I got my piece of mind
Who's gonna bring me heaven
When heaven's already here
No more living in darkness
Now that love lights my way
I don't need any new changes
To make me love today

Happy New Year, everyone. May your year be filled with blessings.

I am not gone

2008-01-03T15:03:00.000-06:00

I am just lazy. Ironic that while I was feverishly working on my paper in October, I posted 10 times. In December, after finishing my paper and my degree, I only posted 3 times. Perhaps I am more eager for escape when overloaded with worry and work. I have had more than enough time in the last two weeks to blog as much as I wanted. Apparently, sleeping until 11 and watching movies and doing puzzles and playing Wii and celebrating the holidays (all with my husband, who also took the last 2 weeks off) took precedence over journaling my daily thoughts.

In a fury of "Best of 2007" posts throughout the blog world, I have only one thing to say right now: 2007 was without a doubt the best year of my life. I'm hoping they will only get better. Because I love lists and reminiscing both, I will do a cumulative review of my year. Just not now. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe in April like another dear blogger did in 2006. Just not now.

Happy New Year. Happy Belated Christmas. Merry Belated Hanukkah. I hope you enjoyed the Festivus.

Emmy Darko

2007-12-19T21:26:00.000-06:00

We've had Donnie Darko for over a month, waiting to watch it until we felt we had time to spare to commit to a "weird" movie. One of my most passionate students in my film analysis class last year recommended it, and it finally arrived from our queue. However, with my finishing my degree and Pat finishing the basement, it's just been sitting on the shelf. My student had said it's "craaaazy", but "reeeaalllly good". And I think I agree.

It's just weird. Really. Really weird. And yet, it is beautiful, scary, and deeply thought-provoking. I really recommend it. The movie makes you contemplate death and what it can mean to others (among a host of other things), which is why I've once again realized how easily I can imagine people dying. Well, that, and the fact that we did *almost* die while watching it.

Okay, so that's a ridiculous exaggeration, but in my mind, we were inches from certain death. With only about ten minutes left in the movie, when its intensity has built and built and is exploding in a reverse montage sequence that had us thinking "huh?", we were suddenly overcome with the piercing sound of a smoke alarm. The one above our heads was not going off, so we realized it was not the smoke alarm, it was the carbon monoxide detector. This particular model also measures gas leaks, and since it was about 8 feet from the furnace and we have been doing construction down there, we had cause for concern. It didn't stop. Although we didn't feel nauseous or smell gas, we called Centerpoint, just because this had never happened before. A smoke alarm goes off, and all you have to do is think, "well, darn, I burned the cookies", but when a carbon monoxide detector's gas alarm goes off, you worry. They figured it best to come out.

Before gas man came to the rescue, I had so many thoughts and visions of our impending deaths, it was ridiculous. I even said to Patrick, "well, if the house does explode, we'd most likely both die, so it would be okay." I wondered if the dogs would die, too, and if not, who would take care of them? Who would teach my classes if my house exploded? I envisioned, like from the movies, the slow motion sudden explosion. I poured a glass of wine and ate a piece of leftover cheesecake. If I was going to die, I was going to die happy. There was no time for sex, what with the gas man on his way over and all. When I was sitting talking to Neisha, still waiting for the gas man (this all took place in about a ten minute time span, by the way), I said something like, "in case we die...", and she said, "you're a little obsessed about death, huh?" Yeah. I am. A lot. But I'm not sure it's incredibly unhealthy. Or healthy.

Like the intentions of Donnie Darko, it is an enigma. And I'm okay with that.

Of course, the gas man came and checked it out. It was a false alarm. Apparently this is common with the model we have (which I don't believe because it has never happened before...what triggered it?). Exhale, we are not dead. But we might die tomorrow. We finished the movie and went to bed. Still alive.

Master Me

2007-12-11T09:24:00.001-06:00

A happy dance. A little kick, a little wiggle, and some jazz hands. I may have yelled “last class EVER!” more than once. Perhaps I cranked the tunes and did a little head-banging on the drive home. A glass of pinot grigio with my husband before bed. Treats for my class; a thank-you gift for my advisor; a party on Saturday.

Ahhhhhhh, celebration.

I told my students I may very well be a more pleasant person from now on (not that I’m horrid currently). I think this idea will transfer to all areas of my life, however, as I have been in graduate school now for over four years. Nine semesters. I have been in school for my entire teaching career. I have been in school during my entire relationship with my husband (which also reached a milestone yesterday: three years since our first date). I could possibly be a new person with less stress and more time. I wonder what that will look like…

See you Saturday, friends. Thanks for your support. You can call me Master.

66 years ago:

2007-12-07T12:06:00.000-06:00

This documentary states approximately 1,000 WWII veterans die each day.

The WWII Memorial in our nation’s capital was dedicated on May 29, 2004.

The Pearl Harbor Memorial was dedicated on Memorial Day 1962.
-----------------------
September 11th has already started to pass by unnoticed by some a mere 6 years after the tragedy. December 7th has been significant for 66 years. We should always remember, so we never forget. We are the most powerful nation in the world, but that makes us ridiculously vulnerable as well.

always Thankful

2007-11-21T15:52:00.000-06:00

"You guys ever wonder why they call it THANKSgiving?" --Joey, Friends

Well, for the thanks, of course. Although I appreciate the small and large things in my life for which I can be thankful every day of the year, I do so love this one special day. Despite the fact that it's more about food than gratitude, I love the warmth and joy of the occasion. Only a small contingency of my family will celebrate together tomorrow, but the ritualistic qualities of baking pies, making the drive, and playing Scrabble with my mom and aunt are incredibly comforting. Later this evening I will roll out the pastry I made yesterday, then fill it with pumpkin and apples, both fruits hand cut and frozen earlier this year. I feel more traditional and proud of things when I make them from scratch, like these pies. Yet, I don't hesitate to enjoy convenience when necessary. I am thankful for convenience and for tradition.

Two Thanksgivings to enjoy once married. Saturday we'll venture to southwestern Minnesota for a couple of days "on the farm". The large celebrations that occur three times a year in my husband's family are still something I'm getting used to. Nieces and nephews, sisters and brothers in law, dogs, parents, and ridiculous amounts of food. Small families like mine are barely comparable to a large sprawling family like my husband's. There are no moments alone, no hiding, yet it is lovingly cozy. Families all have problems, and his is not without, but I feel honored and special to be a part of all of it.

I am thankful for my husband's family, my family. My family of friends who hold their arms open. My dogs, for they are family, too. My students and colleagues, a different kind of family, but I am thankful for their presence in my life also. Thankful doesn't begin to describe how I feel about my husband. Thankful for the (mostly) healthy life God has given me today.

Thankful to you for reading my blog.

Lake Turnover

2007-11-19T10:41:00.000-06:00

Described on MPR this morning during the weather report, lake turnover is a remarkably simple, yet beautiful, concept I had never heard of before. Perhaps I'm feeling romantic as the holidays approach, but this scientific aspect of life on Earth made me smile and give thanks.

Lake turnover is as basic as it sounds; in essence, lakes turn into themselves to rotate the oxygenated water. The beauty of design is what excites me. Water, Paul Huttner tells me, is at its heaviest at 39 degrees, causing it to "sink" to the bottom. Water begins to freeze at 32 degress, a mere seven degress fewer than the heavy water. So, the living plants and animals at the bottom of a frozen lake all year have the surface water (full of oxygen and nutrients from the summer months) in which to live all winter. If water was heaviest at 29, it would be too late, for it would already be frozen. Tough luck, fishies. But conveniently enough, water sinks before it freezes.

This is too perfectly syncronized to be a mistake.

A Belated Tribute

2007-11-16T08:26:00.000-06:00

Sunday was Veterans’ Day, a rather under-celebrated holiday. Falling on a weekend this year, it didn’t gain the periphery attention it does during the week when it causes banks to close and mail to stop. Stories and interviews all week on MPR have kept the holiday and the veterans themselves in the forefront of my mind. The lack of attention given to this day is shameful.

I’m not without guilt. When I taught writing, I had a writing assignment for Veterans’ Day. I had my students write a letter to a veteran they knew personally or just to a veteran in general. They were to give the letter to the person they knew, or I would personally deliver the generic ones to the local VFW. When I taught Sunday School, we colored flags and crosses for veterans and hung them on the wall outside the classroom. But now, it goes unmentioned in my classroom, in my entire school in fact. One of the stories from MPR gleaned mention in my lecture yesterday, but only because it was an appropriate example. But the fact that the entire school went without even a say-so is rather surprising.

We say the pledge once a week, Tuesdays as a norm, Thursdays when it was forgotten on Tuesday (yes, this has happened several times). Standing and/or reciting it is an option. An option I agree with, yet I secretly judge my students who don’t stand. I told my husband about this, and he made a wonderful point: the pledge is more than just a sign of respect for our nation (and arguably our government), it is an honor to the thousands, nay millions, of men and women who have fought for this nation in its 231 years. But even with this connection, no mention of Veterans’ Day before or after the pledge this week.

My father was a sergeant in the Army in Vietnam. Both of my grandfathers were sergeants in the Second World War, one in the Army and one in the Navy. My heart runs full of veteran blood. I donate money every few months to the Paralyzed Veterans of America (and not just because they send me return address stickers). I have a nephew in the Navy; a friend in the Marines, and a niece who at 17 just decided to join the Guard. I thank men and women I know have served; really being grateful and proud of them. Unlike my father’s tour of duty, these people are there by choice. Even if they enlisted for the money for college or a reason to get the hell out of here (wherever that may be), they knew there was a possibility they could go to war. THAT is an amazing act of bravery.

I hate this war we’re fighting in Iraq, killing so many people on so many days. I hate the Bush Administration with all of its lies, “compromises”, and ridiculously bad decisions. I hate the idea that people have to fight wars at all…can’t we just all get along? But I love veterans. People willing to risk their lives for others or for a cause are beyond brave, they’re heroes.

Despite that heroism, most people let Sunday slip by without so much as a whisper. If you haven’t lately, thank a veteran. Every day, pray for their safety.

500

2007-11-13T07:27:00.000-06:00

Times I cursed my alt plan paper? Tissues I used to wipe away the tears of frustration? Dollars I paid for the credits? Cups of coffee enjoyed in the last month?

None of these. Sheets of paper printed at Kinko's yesterday. By eliminating the superfluous Appendix B (50+ pages), my APP ended up being exactly 100 pages. Title page, sign off page, acknowledgement page, table of contents (2), and a 95-page documents with all the information you would ever want to know about NCLB and more equaled exactly 100 pages. Of course, I printed five copies, for those of you who are not math geniuses. A stack of cotton paper over five inches thick, signatures at the ready, and a knowing smile from the woman at the graduate office receiving desk.

Now, it is officially done, an email of approval and acceptance to prove it. No more waiting, wondering, worrying if my committee will like it: they did. One has intentions as using it as a reference in her Comm Pedagogy class. Yay me.

I know this is the umpteenth time I've written about this in the last month and a half, but I don't care. I'm damn proud, not to mention relieved. It's my paper and I'll brag if I want to :-).

Party: December 15th.

Torture

2007-11-07T10:22:00.000-06:00

Much like our soon-to-be Attorney General, my school condones torture. Not water-boarding, not vicious dogs, but torture nonetheless.

During passing time, Hanson's MmmmmBop is being played every hour, every day until we raise $1,000 for Toys for Tots. An effective fundraising technique or cruel and inhumane? Hard to say...

(I have already put some money in the envelope...)

Results

2007-11-07T10:18:00.000-06:00

Our levy was split into three questions, basically asking for a renewal of previously granted funds, an increase in student operating costs, and in increase in technology funds. Question one, the most important, passed. The other two did not. What this basically means is we will cut $1.3 million instead of the projected $7.3. This is a significant win. It is sad the other two didn't pass, especially since one was only a margin of 15 votes, but still it's progress. Hopefully, this means I have a pretty good shot at working here again next year, but only time will tell.

Thanks for your support.

One day a year

2007-11-05T10:34:00.000-06:00

For the second year in a row, my district is one of many sending voters to the polls in hopes they will vote “yes” in its attempt to raise property taxes to fund the local schools. Last year, “no” was the answer, and we cut $7 million district-wide, resulting in the loss of 80+ full time staff (spread over 14 schools and the district office). In my department, we lost my fave, my Molly, and the loss still hurts. In addition to cuts in staff, we raised fees, cut programs, and cut staff development. This year, tomorrow, another “no” conclusion will result in another $7 million decrease in funds. I could lose my job as easily as Molly lost hers last year.

With this in mind, readers, consider this (yes, I’m politicking on my blog):
*My district is one of 99 MN districts with levies or referendums on the ballot tomorrow. Though this is an “off year” in terms of big politics, please consider the other issues and GO VOTE TOMORROW.
*The federal government provides only 9% of the money needed to fund public education. The rest comes from state and local government. In MN, we have good ol’ Tpaw in office, meaning the local government (i.e. your property taxes) funds the majority of schools’ needs.
*A house with an estimated value of $350,000 will only see a $400 increase in property taxes to support my district’s proposal. This situation is similar in most districts. This equals only $34 a month. I spend that on Caribou Coffee each month, for pete’s sake. Consider the ways in which we spend our money…isn’t education a priority?
*Until major education reform that works happens (death to NCLB), schools WILL need to keep asking citizens for more money. It is an inevitable fact.

Please vote tomorrow, and if your district has a school levy, vote yes. If you are NOT a homeowner, then you should definitely vote yes, as the tax increase won’t hurt you at all :-). For me, tomorrow will be a day of worry. My job is in the hands of the voters. Not many people other than politicians can say that. Even if I don’t lose my position, my job will change. If “no” is the vote, then my class sizes will go up again, my development will be denied again, and my students will miss out on valuable opportunities, as more programs and activities will be cut. Think of the whole (community) instead of the part (you).

(*steps off soapbox; goes back to work*)

The sky is blue again

2007-11-01T07:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I finished writing my alt plan paper. The paper itself is 79 pages. Then it has five pages of front material, nine pages of references, and 55 pages of appendices. Damn. I was shooting for around 40 when I started. Turns out that's near impossible with an eight-point analysis of three artifacts.

Now the paper will be read by my committe, as the oral defense has been waived due to my commuting, non-trad status. My advisor is nice like that. If it contains no major errors or rewrites, I will be officially finished. It has to be in the graduate office by 3 P.M. on Friday, November 16. I plan on turning it in on the 12th. Keep your fingers crossed that nothing major will be wrong with it.

Now, I know none of you want to read a 79-page diatribe about No Child Left Behind and the Bush Administration. However, I do want you to read this, my acknowledgement page, because you're all on it:

To [advisor], a supportive advisor, a quick responder of emails, a knower of
all things, and a generally wonderful man. I have learned more from you in my college years than everyone else combined. Thank you for advising me for the past eight years, both educationally and otherwise.

To [committee member], your guidance and advice in the one class I took from you helped
me to see my own potential. Thank you for supporting my wayward process of
learning, for reading and critiquing this paper, and for being a strong role model.

To my darling friends, thank you for providing advice and coffee breaks, for
putting up with my neurosis, and for being present for me in every way.

To Leslie, for being the kind of sister and friend I can look up to in every way but height.

To Mom, for supporting every decision I have ever made, both good and bad, helping me
realize I will always be good enough, smart enough, and successful enough for
you, and subsequently, myself.

Most importantly, To Patrick, my amazing husband, my personal advocate, my best
friend. No one believes in me more than you, which means more to me than any
degree ever could. Thank you for making me laugh, for holding me when I cry,
and for agreeing to spend your life with me. I love you.

So now I sit and wait for an email telling me I'm a genius and to go ahead and get that monster printed. Of course, I have a seven-page lit review to write for class on Monday, and I still have six weeks left of class, but the major hurdle is behind me.

Exhale.

This is productivity

2007-10-24T16:36:00.000-05:00

Screw you little Mac computer man.
How dare you tap your foot or
Sway your little computer tush to the absence
Of my typing.
When I pause to think or check my research
You look with your nonexistent eyes from
My document to me with an arrogance
Too bold for your pixel count.
Now you have turned your back to me.
You casually provide sideways glances
Intermittent with the typing of this poem.
You assume now, because I am typing,
That I am getting work done.
But I am not.
You have distracted me with your judgment.
So I will pause, click your red ‘x’ to send you
Packing,
And get back to the task at hand,
Minus your critique.
As a hand appears on your tiny screen
To wave a fond farewell before fading into
Computer oblivion,
I curse your condescension once more
Before attempting to write chapter four again.
Go to hell, Mac computer man.
You’re not even cute like the PC dog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I might have some writer's block angst. Hard to say...

deflating=aches, tired

2007-10-23T10:22:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a long time, I was dizzy and lightheaded yesterday morning. It lasted a few hours, but waned in the afternoon. I used to faint with little to no warning in high school, which, after seeing many specialists, was diagnosed as a valve malfuntion or something I don't remember exactly, but was told I would grow out of. I did. With no reasonable explanation for this episode (no, I'm NOT pregnant, as many have suggested), I think my body is just mad at me.

I don't sleep enough; I don't relax enough; I stopped working out three times a week; I stopped attempting to eat healthier; and I am severely overworking my brain. According to my email records, I finalized my APP topic on September 15. I researched for three weeks. I began writing on October 9. In two weeks, I have written and revised two whole chapters, totaling 34 pages. I have three chapters left, and certainly not three weeks left (okay, technically, I do...but I don't want to bring it down to the wire even more than I already am). Meanwhile, I am working 40+ hours a week, and taking a night class for which I also have a few hours of homework each week.

I am not losing it. In fact, I will not allow myself to lose it. Finishing this paper and subsequently this semester will complete my four and a half year journey to Masterdom. I can't give up now. I'm worried, however, that my body is giving up without my mind's permission. In addition to the out-of-the-blue symptoms of dizziness, I'm in constant pain. I have always carried my stress in my shoulders and a whole heap of it is sitting heavily on my right one as we speak. It's been there for a while now. I am uncomfortable sitting at my desk, standing in any fashion, and even laying in bed at night. I have a massage appointment on Saturday, Nov. 3. Eleven days. I hope I'll make it.

Because I fear my body is giving up on me, I'm going to attempt treating it nicer this week. I will stay at work to focus on my paper (I work best in a silent room alone, an impossibility in a house with two dogs and a basement-finishing husband) tonight and Thursday until 5. But then I will go home and relax. Tonight, relax in public, as I am going to dinner and a movie with friends. This is a rest for my brain. Tomorrow, however, will be this week's crowning glory: yesterday after my episode, I decided I needed to sleep. To that end, I'm going to play hooky tomorrow. I will sleep until ten at the earliest and then go to the library to work. My students will survive one day without me.

I am only writing about my trials and suffering to inform you, and to remind myself when looking back how hard I worked. No pity necessary or wanted. In spite of all of this, I am very confident in both the quality of my work and the time I have left to complete it. As the kids would say, "I got this." And when I indeed do have it, you will know, and you will be invited to celebrate. Last class, Monday, December 10. Party, Saturday, December 15. See you then.

Crazy

2007-10-18T21:44:00.000-05:00

Because of yesterday's post, I must share with you. I received a package in the mail today from my best friend/sister-in-spirit Jen. It had coffee, yummy chocolates, lip gloss, socks, gloves, and a nice card, your basic care package. She HAD to have mailed this before I wrote yesterday's blog about doing small things to make people happy. I do believe that is concrete proof we are cosmically connected.

Today was the worst day for reasons too silly to list (and my husband has already let me bitch about it to him), but getting this package made the day so special instead. Little unexpected kindnesses really DO make a difference. You heard it here first (or second, or third, but it doesn't matter :-)).

I [heart] Jen.

Small Victories

2007-10-17T09:32:00.001-05:00

We always celebrate large happenings in life, whether good or bad. I have a student writing her Original Oratory (persuasive speech, for those of you not part of our little world) for competition on the neglect of everyday tragedies. The outpouring of help during 9/11, Katrina, and most recently the bridge collapse is admirable, but millions of people go without food and shelter in America every day; why don't we help them? Even Angie (sorry, hon) was compelled to give blood after the bridge collapse, though she's never done it before. People need blood every single day, therefore we should give as often as possible. Same with donations to the Red Cross and others, they always need money, not just in times of tragedy. It will be an excellent speech.

Anyway, my point is that we do the same thing with victories. We celebrate weddings, birthdays, holidays, graduations: big, exciting things that only happen every once in a while. But we would be happier being proud and honored at little things, more often. Now, I know some people are authentically humble and don't like praise of any kind. I am not one of these people, as you very well know, dear reader. But praising others for small things has become a habit as a teacher, and should be more common.

My husband is putting in the ceiling in our basement; I'm proud of him. I tell him so. I finish a chapter of my alternate plan thesis (which is what I'm now calling it, as it is a mini-thesis of sorts, and will be much longer than any alt plan paper I've ever seen...Chad says, "If anyone would've turned their APP into a thesis, it would be you, Emily."). I'm proud of myself. Today, my final car payment came out of my bank account. I bought a car. By myself. It took five years, but still, I'm proud. Many people sent me cards on my birthday, but Molly sends me cards almost every week, just because. It makes me happy. I mailed my sister a gift to remind her I love her. It made her happy. Someone put up Breast Cancer Awareness Month information in the staff bathroom. Such a small effort that could really make a difference. Doing little things for people unexpectedly and offering praise for the small things often seems to make so much more of a difference than only doing things when expected.

So, I offer a challenge to my readers (a small audience to be sure, but still...): think of five things you've done in the past week that you can be proud of; think of five things people close to you have done that make you proud of them...have you told them?; and think of five things you can do for other people that will make a difference (even if it's just packing a lunch for your spouse so he/she won't have to). Then, write about it on your blog so we too can share in your small victories.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."--Margaret Mead

Yay me

2007-10-15T14:50:00.001-05:00

I turned in 23 pages to my advisor this morning. Five pages of history and eighteen pages of criticism...that's one long lit review. This paper is going to be much longer than I expected...

I'm very proud, but have no time to spare, as it is due in its perfect, turn-in-able state in exactly one month. I've already started working on the data and frameworks sections. Pretty much everything has been moved to a back burner in my life as I plug through this, but if I can write fifteen pages in two days, I'm sure I'll manage with no trouble.

MEA break is this week, so I will spend many hours with my laptop. Thanksgiving break will be a dream come true.

I repeat, "Yay me."

TGIF

2007-10-12T12:44:00.000-05:00

I don't know if I've ever meant that cliche more. This has been one of the longest, busiest weeks ever. And I've been sick. Busy and sick. This is an often deadly combination, but somehow I made it through.

Now, with two days of "freedom" ahead of me, I am foggy-headed and just dead tired. I need to work on my paper intensesly this weekend, and I am already losing my motivation. I have to finish my lit review for sure, and I'd like to get started on the data and framework as well. Not to mention reading the articles for Monday's class. I need to stop thinking about it and over-analyzing it.

Right now, I'm blogging instead of working on my paper, even though I'm still in school. My fifth and sixth periods are smaller classes, so they're done with speeches and watching a movie. Other than finding it difficult to concentrate with Mulan on in the background, I'm taking a mental break since I haven't been able to take physical breaks. My body needs some sort of relaxation.

---------------------------------

Today is my husband's birthday. Yesterday's blog explains our celebration, but we're also going to a friend's for dinner tonight. We might get together with the family on Sunday, but it's all pretty low-key. He's good like that :-).

He is five years and nine months older than me. He is the perfect combination of mature, responsible adult and fun-loving guy. A Master's degree in science, a good job, and a house, yet plays video games, laughs at stupid jokes, and does fun, spontaneous things. Happy birthday to my perfect husband. Who doesn't read this, so it doesn't matter what I say, but still...

---------------------------------

I don't have anything else to write about. Now I'm just killing time. Bored. Feel like at least if I'm typing at my computer, my students think I'm working. Bad. Bad teacher. Maybe I will work on my paper a little...

(Here lies the worst blog ever.)

Good luck often comes

2007-10-11T07:24:00.000-05:00

...in the most unexpected situations.

Tomorrow is my husband's birthday. A few weeks ago, I thought it would be fun to take him to a Wild game as part of the celebrations, since a)even though he loves hockey, he's never been to one,and b)he's not much of a birthday person, so unlike me, he wouldn't expect or want anything big. I, being a poorly paid teacher, bought "cheap seats" from ticketmaster for last night's game (they are away tomorrow).

So, yesterday we met at home at 4:30 and then drove over to St. Paul. A co-worker of his had given us the in on a great cheap parking lot about four blocks from the Xcel. We walked, enjoying the fall chill, and found a place to eat: Patrick McGovern's. We've been here before, and it was tasty then too. It was apparently the place to be for Wild fans, and it soon filled up. After dinner and a couple of beers (me, not him), we decided just to head over early. We figured we could walk around, maybe browse in the Hockey Lodge, whatever. So, in the gates, up the longest escalator ever (longer, we think, than the one at the Guthrie, though it seemed a tough call), and around the concourse to find section 215, row something really high. Because it was so early (about 45 minutes before the puck would drop), there weren't many people up there. So, we're walking, laughing about something one of us said, and a guy in red Wild sweatshirt and lanyard ID badge stopped us.

Wild Dude:"Can I ask you two something?"
Us:"Sure."
Wild Dude:"Are your seats up here?"
Us: "Yeah" (thinking, um, seriously, they check tickets up here?)
Wild Dude: "Do you want to sit on the glass?"
Us: "Yes. What do we have to do?" (thinking we'd have to sell our souls or worse, fill out a credit card application)
Wild Dude: "Nothing. You give me your tickets and your names, and I'll give you these tickets."
Us: "OKAY! Really?!?!"
Wild Dude: "Really. We'll just announce your names and put you up on the big screen at some point."
Us: "Wow. Cool. It's his birthday even!"
Wild Dude: "Great. I really chose the right couple. Now what are your names?"
Etc. etc. etc.

So, yeah. We later found out from our usher that we had won the Andersen Ticket Upgrade. Won? We didn't even do anything! It was totally sweet (yes, I just said totally sweet...later I'll say "crazy cool"). Also, on the glass seats come with perks...there's a bar behind the goal called the Fishing Lodge. People with front row seats get to go in there before the game and at intermissions to enjoy free snacks and drinks. "Wait," you're thinking, "seats on the glass AND free beer? NO way!" Way, my friend. And it was...wait for it...crazy cool. At home we were joking about being so far away from the ice we wouldn't need long sleeves...then we were at the face-off circle. I know which hockey players are missing which teeth, for pete's sake! Wait until you see the pictures. (I have every intention of posting more pics on my blog, but I'm always blogging from my computer, and we keep all our photos on Pat's computer, so they are not easy to insert unless I make special effort...I'll do a fall review or something soon.)

The Wild won 2-0. Shut out. It was great. Free beer resulted in my being very drunk (I had had two at the restaurant remember...) when we walked to the car. At one point I yelled "Gophers suck!" at a guy in in a U of M hockey jersey. Pat called me Josh. I laughed. What a great fun night. And just when we thought it couldn't get any better...

My ex-boyfriend (not THE ex, but one of them) was parked right next to us in our great little parking lot four blocks away. He hollered my name to get our attention, and we walked over, and I got to introduce my ex to my husband. This was a first for me in my three and a half months of marriage. It was great. He had seen us on the big tv. I was drunk, so I said some pretty stupid stuff (and hugged him before we left), but it was an excellent way to end the night. Yes, I recognize the bitchiness of this sick pleasure, but I don't care. I rejoiced when I found out The Ex's wedding had been called off, too, so judge away.

So, good luck came to our birthday celebration last night. I will never again say, "Things like that don't happen to me..."

Snippet #2

2007-10-08T13:24:00.000-05:00

The first day of speeches in speech class is well underway. This semester's group of kids is so far very impressive. I love being able to write 90's in the total section of many speeches (they are out of 100). The better they are, the less bored I am. The less bored I am, the better I respond. The better I respond, the better grades they get. Everyone wins. Additionally, only one student has shown up unprepared. Usually, there is at least one an hour.

I'm very proud of them. I'd like to think it's also a reflection of my teaching, but who knows:-).